Looking for real love? Stick to these foolproof dos and don'ts of digital dating.
When you are looking for real love online, a well-written profile is key. It is important to find the balance between serious and fun. You want to be clear that you're looking for a real relationship, but you don't want to seem needy or desperate. You want to show your fun and lighthearted side, but you don't want to come across as flaky. These tips will help you strike that balance, as well as help to identify the guys with boyfriend potential:
1. On your online dating profile, use the right vocabulary. Use phrases like "lasting relationship" and "best friend" instead of "marriage" and "husband." Focus on describing the day-to-day relationship you want to create, rather than the title you wish to achieve.
2. Be sure to include in your profile anything that may be a dealbreaker (for him or for you). Just put it out there. If you have children, mention that in your profile. If you want a partner who shares a particular lifestyle, write about its importance to you.
3. Make him laugh! Lighten things up by including a funny, self-deprecating story or by making reference to something funny in pop culture. Instead of saying you "love to laugh," express it in your writing and show it in your pictures!
4. Beware of the guy who includes "short-term dating" as something he's looking for. While he might be open to developing a long-term relationship, it may not be important to him and he may not be willing to do any work towards that goal.
5. Look out for profiles that seem outdated or lacking effort. If a man wants a relationship and is attempting to find it online, it will be reflected in his profile. He'll post good, clear pictures and he'll have an updated narrative.
6. Don't put too much stock into his online presence. If you didn't meet him via social networking, avoid connecting with him in that way until you get to know each other better. Exploring his Facebook and Twitter pages will likely fill your head with judgments and insecurities. Get to know him in real life before surveying his entire online presence.
7. Clean up your public profile. He may be the curious type, and you don't want him to find anything that might diminish the relationship potential.
8. Don't write him off if he has chosen to text instead of call. The important thing is that by the end of the first text session, he's asking to set up a time to meet. And it shouldn't be "if you're free tonight, maybe we'll cross paths." He should be willing to set aside some time, in advance, to meet you. The date certainly doesn't have to be fancy or time-consuming, but he should be able to commit to an hour to meet you for coffee.
9. Beware of the guy who asks you to send him suggestive photos early on. If you haven't yet been intimate, he shouldn't be asking for sexy pictures. A man who is looking for real love will know that getting to know you is as important as physical chemistry, and he'll let the sexy texting develop in its own time.
10. In the beginning, don't sweat the small stuff ... like how long it takes him to respond to your text or why he waited a day to respond. Let him respond to you in a way in which he is comfortable. If it doesn't feel good to you, you can choose not to be in touch any longer. But give yourself the chance to get to know him without creating expectations about his availability.
There's no escaping the technology when it comes to dating. Keep these tips in mind and you'll be ready for the hunt for love!
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