Ring, Buzz, Ring: 7 Ways Your Phone Is Destroying Your Love Life

You won't believe what your phone is doing to your breasts ...

Since cell phones came into existence there have been a lot of rumors, facts, and gossip about the negative, and sometimes, positive effects of them. We all remember the days when the media told us brain cancer from cell phone use was evitable, right? But because cell phones haven’t been around long enough to really give us a good idea of what a lifetime of using them could mean for our bodies, what we do know for sure is that cell phones, and technology as a whole, are changing the way we communicate. We seem to be drifting further and further apart.

As technology continues to build a wall in between and all around us, it would make sense that our relationships might suffer. You might think it's not a big deal to have your phone attached to you 24/7, but you are very, very wrong.

1. It puts a damper on true connection.
Studies have shown that nothing says, "I'm not totally interested in this moment," quite like putting your cell phone on the table during dinner. It not only makes the person across the table feel less important than your phone, but it also leads to you "to judge the quality of your relationship more poorly." It's hard to focus when you’re waiting for a call or a text, so put the phone away. If someone really needs to talk to you, they'll call back.

2. It can make you impotent.
In news that will make anyone shrivel, shrink, and sob uncontrollably in the corner,studies have found that men who carry their cell phones in their pocket for a significant amount of time everyday are more prone to erectile dysfunction, as opposed to those who keep their phone elsewhere (attaché, maybe?). Doctors attribute this to either the electromagnetic radiation or the heat that the phone emits. On top of that, researchers have also found a "worrying link" between "poor sperm" and the amount of time men use their phones a day. Luckily, these studies are still in their infancy, so maybe in a couple years, we can laugh these results off as a load of bunk.

3. It's a total boner-killer.
Picture it: all is quiet, there's maybe some bad elevator music on in the background, and you lean in for a kiss, but, "RING! BUZZ! RING!" And scene. While you might be able to pick up where you left off, you have to admit that the phone really changed the mood. It may pain you to do so, but powering it down or at least putting it on silence will help keep things moving in the right direction.

4. It will make you sick.
It's hard to have a smooth-sailing relationship if you're sick all the time. Researchers found that 94.5 percent of cell phones are basically germ factors. Not only are cell phones home to at least one bacteria or another, but a lot of those germs found are known as "superbugs," which is a bacteria that can’t be cured by common antibiotics.

5. It will make your offspring a devil child.
Even if you're able to get over the obstacles that cell phones put in the way of successful and happy relationships, that doesn't mean you're out of the woods just yet. Studies have found that women who use their phones a lot during pregnancy are more likely to have devil children with behavioral problems. For your love life this means two things: If you're with the father of your child, behavior issues can add extra stress to your life and take a major toll on your relationship. If you're not with the father of your child and are a single parent out on the prowl, a difficult kid can make meeting someone new a tricky task. If everyone in town knows your child is the kid from The Exorcist, you can kiss your love life goodbye. 

6. It's a drunk texting machine.
Whether you're drunk and texting an ex-boyfriend (even though you’re in a relationship), or texting your current partner because you're either A. Mad, B. A mean drunk, or C. In the mood to be a little too honest, drunk texting can really mess up a good thing. If that isn't a major factor in how cell phones can ruin your love life, then I don't know what is.

7. It can make your breasts lumpy.
If you're one of those women who keeps their phone in their bra, and apparently some do, stop now. Research has found a direct correlation between breast nodules ("solid, raised areas in or under the skin that are larger than 0.5 centimeters") and phones being tucked closely to the bosom. According to Dr. Stephen Sinatra, "doctors are now finding a rectangular pattern of nodules — many of them malignant — between the breasts of all to many unsuspecting women that have afterward admitted to stashing their cell phones" in their bras. Ladies, you have that Balenciaga bag for a reason, so put your cell phone in there instead.

http://www.yourtango.com/2014214109/love-dating-technology-ways-your-cell-phone-ruining-your-love-life

5 Signs Your Relationship is Ending

Once the honeymoon period is over most relationships fall into a comfortable pattern that might be short on the fireworks of the first year, but provides a stability and intimacy that feels great.

However, if that comfortable groove has started to feel more like an apathetic rut it might be time to take a long, hard look at your relationship and see if it’s likely to stand the test of time. Here are five ways to tell if your relationship is on the rocks…

You don’t communicate

If you come home from work, stick the telly on and don’t speak to each other beyond the occasional “Pass the crisps”, you’re in trouble. Communication is the key to every relationship and without it minor issues can flare up into fights and you’ll both end up feeling unloved and indifferent. If you don’t want to talk to each other about how your day was or chat and laugh together anymore, it’s a clear sign that you’re losing interest.

You rarely have sex

Once the initial excitement of a new relationship has worn off you will naturally have a bit less sex, but a strong desire for your partner and regular sex make for a healthy, functioning relationship. It may just be that your sex life has got a little bit routine and injecting some zest with a little bit of experimentation will put things back on an even keel, but if you still aren’t feeling it, it’s probably time to wave goodbye.

You imagine life without your partner

If you find yourself constantly having daydreams that fail to feature your partner it’s time to ask yourself some questions. You might long for a home free of their clutter and chat, or fantasise about a date with that hot new colleague, or wish you could just take a holiday alone: whatever it is, you’ve started to emotionally detach.

You pick fights

If you find your partner irritating and can’t resist constantly picking them up on their habits then the writing is on the wall. Relationships require empathy, compassion and compromise to keep going, so if you’ve jacked all that in in favour of snapping and bickering it’s time to get out of there.

You forget about the little things

Whilst big gestures are thrilling and romantic they don’t help maintain a relationship on a day-to-day level. A recent study funded by the Economic Science and Research Council found that the simple things – such as bringing your partner a cup of tea in bed – nurture a relationship much more than grand romantic gestures. If you’ve forgotten about those little things and rarely think to do anything for your partner, from offering them a cuppa to giving them a cuddle, then it’s time to forget about the whole thing and move on.

3 Reasons He Didn't Call You Back

Adapted from the new book Why He Didn’t Call You Back: 1,000 Guys Reveal What They REALLY Thought About You After Your Date by Rachel Greenwald

It's the new riddle of the Sphinx: “Why didn’t he call me back?” You have a great first date with a promising guy. You think it went well and expect to see him again… but then poof! He vanishes inexplicably. You sit around with your girlfriends and debate why he didn’t call you back. What happened in between “I’ll pick you up at 8pm” and “poof?” You speculate, you obsess, you rationalize, you justify. You want to know why. When your friends tell you, “It’s not you, it’s him,” you want to know if they’re trying to be nice or telling you the truth.

Guess what? There is someone who does know the truth about what really happened on your date. But it’s not you. It’s not your friends. And it’s certainly not your mother. It’s the guy you went out with. So I decided to ask him for you! In fact, I asked 1,000 “hims.” During the past ten years as a dating coach and matchmaker, I conducted “exit interviews” with 1,000 single guys to find out why you never heard from him again after a date, or after he flirted with you online or at a party. And I got some real answers. It turns out there are clear, consistent reasons why men show initial interest and then disappear. Sure, sometimes the issue is all his—who hasn’t gone out occasionally with a real jerk? But it turns out that many times we’re sending out signals we might not be aware of. And the good news is that most of these signals are easy to fine-tune.

Men essentially confessed that when they first meet you, they have several “female stereotypes” floating around in their mind. They quickly try to peg which stereotype you are and then look for evidence to back up their hunch. You know who you are deep down, but he doesn’t yet. So he will decide whether to call you again based on his perception of you, not the reality. In the early stage of dating, perception is reality. Here are three of the most common reasons men revealed why they aren’t calling women back (get the other 7 reasons - and what you can do about all of them - in my new book).

Reason #1: The Boss Lady
His perception: He’d rather hire you than date you. He perceives you as argumentative, controlling, overly independent, and not feminine or warm. While you think he’s intimidated by your success, he’s thinks you have a prickly attitude and imagines that snuggling with you is like hugging a porcupine in a pin-striped business suit!

Your reality: You’re confident, forthright and successful, but he can’t yet see those great qualities behind your tough demeanor. Try showing your warm, sensitive side first by talking about your adorable nephew or your volunteer work at the animal rescue shelter. And definitely change clothes after work into a flirty skirt instead of staying in that power business suit.

Reason #2: The Park Avenue Princess
His perception: You’re looking for a “Perfect 10”: the guy’s who’s a 5 on the looks scale with $5 million in the bank. He thinks you’re high maintenance, superficial, or a gold-digger.

Your reality:You can take care of yourself. You enjoy spending what you make. Maybe you’re interested in a nice lifestyle, though it’s not your only priority. But he’s jaded by all the gold-diggers he dated before you (you’re guilty until proven innocent). So instead of asking him “What’s your favorite hotel in St. Bart’s?” you should ask “What’s your favorite little neighborhood café?” When the waiter inquires whether you’d like tap or bottled, don’t order the Evian; one glass of city water (almost) never killed anyone! {Tip: squeeze a little lemon in your glass…}

Reason #3: The Sadie Hawkins
His perception: You’re pursuing him. You sent him a thank-you email after your date, and immediately he knew you liked him. He may even think you’re a little desperate. Deep down, he feels deflated because when he likes a woman, he’d rather do the chasing.

Your reality: That thank-you email was a show of good manners, not a subtle hint for him to ask you out again. At work you’re rewarded for taking initiative, but with guys you have to let them reach out first. Don’t say, “Let’s do this again sometime”—that’s his line. This is one time in your empowered, take-charge life when you have to sit back and wait after a first date—do absolutely nothing to follow-up (don’t even check to see if he’s logged into his online dating profile). He’s a big boy and knows how to contact you if he’s interested.

I truly believe it’s not that “good” guys don’t exist, but rather that simple (mis)perceptions—which can be easily tweaked once you’re aware of them—are standing in Cupid’s way. Which stereotype do you think men might be labeling you? 

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/advice/why-he-didnt-call?click=rel

Five Big Online Dating Profile Mistakes Made by Women over 40

Is your profile withering away online? Is it attracting the interest of couch potatoes, the chronically ill or the guys just looking for a little action? If so, you are likely making at least one of the mistakes commonly made by women over 40 who are using online dating as their new discos. (Really…where do you meet men these days?)

Unfortunately, all it takes is one major profile mistake to potentially sabotage any chance of finding love — or even a few good dates. Because, let’s face it, the odds are not in our favor, ladies. As we get older the man-to-woman ratio moves more and more lopsided. Some statistics show that for every man over 50, there are up to 5 women; over 60, ten women, and so on. Ugh! The days of sitting back and waiting for anything incoming are over. If you want to be noticed and rise to the top, it pays to create the best possible profile and keep it polished and shiny. Because if it doesn’t catch his interest right away, it only takes a single click for him to find one that does.

The good news is that unlike a lot of things in life, your profile is easy to change and update. And once you know how it is inadvertently turning off the men who are looking for a positive, fun connection, it’s really not that difficult. Here are the top five profile mistakes common to women over 40, along with specific tips to make your profile more appealing and reflective of the best you.

1) It’s a shopping list. Your profile is your calling card, not a wish list. Once you’ve hit your 40s and beyond, you kind of know what works for you and what doesn’t. Many women use their profile as a list of their likes and dislikes. That can be a turn-off. The purpose of your profile is to market you. If you do a good job describing yourself and painting a picture of what it feels like to be in a relationship with you, it will attract the right men and repel the wrong ones. So focus more on what you have to offer, and less on what they can do for you. I guarantee you’ll see the immediate payoff in the quality of men you attract.

2) It’s too needy. Here are some statements I see every day in women’s profiles: “I’ve waited so long for the right relationship and I hope it’s finally my time.” “I’m ready to be his everything.” “I’m looking for a relationship where we are totally devoted to each other.” While some of this may be true for you, it’s not something to put in a profile. The man reads this as you having incredibly high expectations and reliance on your relationship for your happiness. Remember, he doesn’t even know you. If you wouldn’t say it on your first date, don’t write it in your profile.

3) It’s not needy enough. Women in their 40s, 50s and beyond are particularly guilty of this. After all, you’ve probably accomplished a lot in your life without a man and are prepared to continue doing so. Be careful not to sound like there is no room in your life for a relationship. It often goes something like this: “I spend my days as a busy lawyer and my evenings teaching courses at the local college. Many weekends are spent training for my next marathon and singing in my church choir.” Whew!  You can go on to say that you look forward to a relationship, but really…where can a man possibly see time for himself in that picture? Also, avoid these statements: “I don’t need a man, but it would be nice to have one in my life.” Or, “I’ve been fine all these years without a man but I’ll make room for the right one .” Men, just like women, don’t want to feel like an accessory in someone else’s life. They especially need to feel needed and like an important contributor to your life. If you make it sound like you can take it or leave it, they are likely to help you leave it.

4) It’s too boring. “I love spending time with my friends, volunteering and reading novels.” When a man reads this his eyes glaze over and he moves on to the next profile. It’s too generic, common and, frankly says nothing about you that’s interesting. Instead, be more specific and paint a picture for him. Such as, “A great evening for me is trying out the newest ethnic food restaurant with a few good friends and disagreeing about the controversial exhibit at the art museum.” Or, “Sunday mornings you’ll find me at the SPCA walking dogs and then off to my favorite breakfast joint for their fresh brewed coffee and chile relleno. I like mine extra spicy.” (Okay, doesn’t hurt to flirt a little.)

5) You sound like a Debbie Downer. Does your profile sound like someone who likes to have a good time? Don’t be negative or too serious. “I’ve tried online dating before and it didn’t work, but I’m trying it again.” Or “I’ve had a lot of challenges and hardships over the last 20 years and now I’m ready for a change.” Or “I’ve devoted my life to my children and caring for my elderly parents…now it’s my turn.” Again, this all may be true, but it’s important to let your prospective match know that spending time with you will be enjoyable…otherwise why would they want to contact you? When was the last time you read a man’s profile and thought “Wow, he sounds like he really needs me to cheer him up…I definitely want to meet him!” Spend your initial time letting him know how you relax and enjoy yourself and how being with you will add positively to both of your lives. You can roll out the “heavy” information as you get to know each other.

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/five-big-online-dating-profile-mistakes-made-by-women-over-40/#.UqufEfRdXnc

10 Reasons Why He's Just Not That Into You

TIME TO
MOVE ON?

The powerful maxim, 'He's just not that into you,' has exploded over the past 10 years from a cute line on Sex and the City to a book... to a movie. Why is there so much hype around this simple, seemingly obvious statement? Because so many women still don't get it!

Ladies, before you start pining over phantom phone calls and missed dates, consider these hilarious tips from author Phil Torcivia. The divorced bachelor, who penned the wildly funny Such a Nice Guy, has a thing or two to say about why he might not be returning your affections.

Don't be sad. It's his problem, not yours. I'm sure there are numerous men out there who are attracted to you and don't mind at all that you hog the remote, get text messages at 2 a.m. and pass gas in your sleep. We all have our little quirks. The key is avoiding the little jerks and finding someone who loves your idiosyncrasies. If that has become too difficult, find a good therapist, mix yourself a strong martini or see if one of the 10 reasons below applies.

HE NEVER REALLY WAS INTO YOU

He just wanted to hook up. (Oh, stop sobbing. You've done it, too.)

HE FOUND SOMEONE HE'S MORE INTO

It happens. Perhaps that lovely coworker he has been pining for suddenly left her boyfriend, whom she was just not that into.

HE IS TIRED OF BEING DRAGGED TO CHURCH...

...and malls and family reunions and baby showers.

YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS FRIGHTENED HIM

Maybe he sees too much of your mother in you already.

HIS FRIENDS FINALLY TALKED HIM INTO LEAVING YOU

They whined, complained, and poked fun at him because, since you came around, he can't come out and play after dinner as often.

YOU NAG... A LOT

Anytime you ask him to do something more than twice, it's no longer a reminder, it's nagging. Nothing makes a man want to run out of the home screaming more than nagging (excluding the obvious: A bad call during a playoff game or accidentally catching his Willy in his zipper).

HE'S A SLOB AND YOU'RE NEAT, OR VICE-VERSA

You don't realize this until you share a hotel room for a week. Then, the unmade bed, clothing pile and missing toothpaste cap are sufficient reasons to check out of both the hotel and the relationship.

YOU COST TOO MUCH

Hey, times are tough. He has to cut corners. His hand does not require expensive foreplay such as roses, sushi and La Crema chardonnay. His accountant advised him to rebuild his credit by sticking to solo nights in a dive bar with his nutritious dinner of happy hour draft beer and popcorn.

YOU ARE NOT THE SAME WOMAN YOU WERE WHEN HE MET YOU

Remember that sexy number you were wearing? Those high boots with your designer jeans tucked inside them. That pink lace thong. The plunging neckline. Where did they go? Yes, you look cute in sweatpants, flip-flops and a trucker cap, but then again so does his uncle.

YOU STARTED RATIONING THE COOKIE

You used to get busy all the time:In the car, on the kitchen counter and in the hotel Jacuzzi. You used to initiate. In fact, according to the police log, you had orgasms loud enough to register on the Richter scale. Now, instead of changing positions, you change the channels. He misses those days when you used to fetch the sex towel.

It's not so bad. Don't be embarrassed. You, too, can learn from this or at least become more skilled at faking it. But just accept it -- he's just not that into you.

http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/813319/10-reasons-why-he-s-just-not-that-into-you/page:2

Dating Deal Breakers: 8 Signs We All Overlook

Your friends say, "No one's perfect." Your mother says, "Keep an open mind." But we've learned the hard way that seemingly small, easily ignorable offenses are beacons of trouble to come.

The 14.5 Percent Tip

Dinner was lovely, and he made you laugh and, as promised, the chicken mole was nothing short of revelatory. But then, as you noticed and tried not to notice you were noticing, he was snippy to the waitstaff and left an underwhelming tip. Yes, you can spin this into a playful little debate about whether tips ought to be performance-based, and maybe it will be amusing in aSeinfeld-y way. Still. Think it through. He might have made charming conversation and looked meaningfully into your eyes, but if this relationship progresses, sister, someday you're going to be the one bringing him a plate of spaghetti and getting the stink eye.

Bertha. His Pet Boa Constrictor

If life were a movie, a pet boa constrictor would read as "quirky." But this is no Wes Anderson film; this is a life you have to live. And boa constrictors live up to 30 years and keep growing that entire time. That's three decades of feeding a snake live rodents. In your home. This is someone who did not think things through, who was not able to reconcile in his imagination, when he bought old Bertha after sophomore-year finals, the possibility of his future children and how they might not enjoy watching the daily devouring of rodents. You're a grownup. You need someone who can think like a grownup, which sometimes involves looking 30 years into the future.

He Can't Hook Up the DVR

We all like to believe that we have no gender-based expectations. We are modern people, of course we are, and we don't need any man to build us a fire or change the flat tire anymore than we need someone else to bring home the bacon! But you do have to be honest with yourself. What do you really, really expect of your life partner? Like, I think of myself as someone who is independent in most factions of life, but let's be real, I need someone else to be the one who knows how to tame the technology-cord-snake-Medusa. If it weren't for my husband, I would live in a house without Internet, cable, music or, probably, working electric lamps.

Sulking at Cousin Sandy's 60th Birthday Party

We've all heard that you can tell a lot about a man by how he treats his mother. But what about your mother? Or, for that matter, your great-aunt? When he sulks with a teenager's intensity every time you want to hang out with your family, he's revealing a great deal about his relative philosophy. If you wear your great-grandmother's cameo brooch and named your cat after your uncle, you probably need someone who gets it. This is assuming you actually do enjoy hanging out with your family; if they are total loons and you know it, consider cutting him a break.

He Thought Your Dental Floss Was Fishing Line

Eyes may be the windows to a person's soul, but teeth are a pretty good indicator of where his head is. If he doesn't take good care of his teeth, he's probably pretty cavalier about his health in general. I think this should be part of any responsible first-date diagnostic: close you eyes for a moment and imagine convincing this person to get a colonoscopy. Romantic? No. Important, if you want to connect with someone who is going to live a long, healthy life and encourage you to do the same? Yes.

He Thinks You're a Masseuse

So you're at a party, and you go to get another mini-quiche, and you overhear him talking about you in glowing terms. You flush a bit and, of course, stop to listen. "She's so great," he's saying. "And how cool is it that she's a professional masseuse?" But you're not. You're a licensed physical therapist—a job you described in extensive detail on dates Nos. 2 and 3. That explains why he's always demanding backrubs. But also, it indicates some deeper trouble: If he can't even be bothered to find out what it is you actually do, is he really interested in you? Even if he's memorized your job title, though—does he care? Did he listen at all? Or was he too excited about the idea of free massages to hear what you were trying to tell him?

He Won't Put His Face in the Water

If he can't wholeheartedly commit to swimming a lap, one is forced to wonder if he can ever commit to anything at all.

You Don't Huff His Sweaty Shirts

A recent study published in Lake Forest College's publication Eukaryon found that "a person chooses a mate with advantageous genes through odor." If his taste in music makes you swoon and you share a favorite restaurant but you don't thrill to the smell of his neck, perhaps you've found a mate with DISadvantageous genes.

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Dating-Dealbreakers-Bad-Relationships-Signs/8

9 Reasons He's Leading You On

Most humans aren't mean-spirited by nature, but they do so many awful things in dating such as stringing along or leading on.

It's truly an art to lead someone on. You have to defy physics - keeping someone suspended in space for extended periods of time.

Your behavior and statements don't allow for an understanding of what's going on between the two of you. You don't let them go to move on with their life, but you also don't let them close enough to you to feel like you're officially together. You appear interested in someone, but you don't move it along and you keep it vague.

You can accomplish this by doing something as simple as constantly answering someone's excessive texts even though you have no intention of getting together with them, 

Because it's so difficult to lead someone on purposefully, I believe most lead-ons are unintentional.

Picture a person's mind like surf. If you're in rough surf, you'll be tossed around. If that surf is smooth and calm, it will be a nice relaxing ride. Swim in a rough surf at your own risk. In other words, this unintentional leading on might occur because you're involved with someone who is not in a state of mind for a healthy relationship.

Here are some reasons a person might lead you on:

They Are Too Nice

Thankfully, it is natural for people to be nice. My friend I wrote about last week is nice - maybe too nice. So the guy who kept texting her must have been getting hope when she wrote back. Remember my observation about Southern girls? They were all so nice, it seemed like I had a chance - they talked to anyone. Lucky for me, I never assume I have a chance.

They Like the Attention

Hey, what's not to like about someone constantly stroking your ego - even if you're not that into them? It's nice to have someone around to make you feel desirable when dating life is slow.

They Are Confused

They could be confused about anything: "I want a boyfriend, no I don't," "I can't get over my ex," "I don't want to wreck the friendship," etc. They aren't on solid ground so they keep you close, but not too close.

They Are Playing the Field

...and probably leading many people on at the same time.

They're Taken

People flirt while they are in relationships because it means nothing. But to the single person pursuing them it has much more meaning. And if the person is taken but not particularly happy they will go through the motions even more with the pursuant, with no intention of breaking up with their present significant other.

Because They Can Do It

They probably won't stop until they are called out on it.

They Are Mental

This is one of the few times someone might lead you on purposefully. Don't worry though - if you're mixed up with a crazy, getting led on might be the best thing that could happen all things considered.

They Don't Think They Are Leading You On

Sometimes people are disconnected when it comes to the perception of a relationship. Usually, it ends when one person expresses feelings and the other person says: "I thought we were just friends." If someone thinks you're on platonic level, they won't think their actions are giving you any hope, whether it's getting together to hang out every weekend or even if you jump in the same bed to sleep.

They Want Sex (Guys Are Most Guilty of This)

Some guys will do anything for sex: acting like he's more serious than he is, saying he has deep feelings for you, you're the only one, etc.

Take decisive action to avoid getting led on:

1. Call them on it: If you're confused, feeling suspended in space, then ask them what's up. It will force them to at least explain things and maybe you'll get a decisive answer.

2. Get out of there: They'll keep doing it if you don't take action. If you're not happy with the way a relationship is going, leave. It will force them to play their hand. If they don't take you back then you know it wasn't worth it. If they come calling, you can give it another shot and maybe they'll even change their ways.

Do you agree with my reasons for leading on? Are you ever aware that you're leading someone on? How have you dealt with being led on - do you agree with my solutions? Why do you think people lead other people on?

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/men/leading-you-on

How to Tell If You're Dating Prince Charming or Prince Harming

According to ancient philosopher Aristotle, there are three kinds of relationships, only one of which will bring you true happiness. Find out how your relationship measures up!

1. Relationships of Pleasure
Partners who are about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. You share soulless, passionate sex and playful banter—but they're about the body or ego. They never soul-nurture you with insight and growth, so they never bring real-deal happiness.

2. Relationships of Utility
Partners you spend time with in hopes of garnering status, power, money and beauty like the rich guy with a trophy girl. Again, this is about body or ego and doesn't bring true joy.

3. Relationships of Shared Virtue
Partners who challenge and inspire you to grow into your highest potential and nurture your soul. A good example is when Jack Nicholson's character in As Good As It Gets says, "You make me want to be a better man." When you prioritize seeking a partner who supports you becoming your best self—instead of crushing on "superficial lures"(hotness, funniness, smartness, success, etc.)—you wind up with a soul mate/a Prince Charming/a definite keeper!

With this in mind, if you want to be happy in love, you must take time to see past a guy's "superficial lures" and look inside his "superinsidehimself." Unfortunately, those fumes of chemistry can often dizzy a gal into making stupid love choices. That's why it's important to remember: Hot, steamy chemistry eventually fades—and what's always left beneath is a person's true soul.

Yes, if you want to be happy, you must seek a good-hearted, ethical soul who brings you great growth—not simply a hottie who brings great grope!

Confession time: Another superficially alluring quality I've been suckered in by is humor. I am Silly Putty in a friggin' funny man's hands. I once had a boyfriend who teased me that the secret to getting me into bed was to crack five good jokes in a night. He'd count down his jokes as the night progressed. Unfortunately, funniness is a mere decorative quality —sometimes developed to avoid talking about real-life issues. Which is why in the past, after a few months of dating a friggin' funny guy, I've witnessed all that fabulous ha-ha-ha laughter often gives way to tears when the guy's true character—true soul—shows up as one that avoids honest communication, warm empathy and the desire for growth. Then, when I try to connect soul to soul—heart to heart—I am greeted by a gigantic, unmovable whoopee cushion wall.

Basically, friggin' funny is only the tiniest tip of a person. Meanwhile, a person's soul is a person's foundation!

For the record: Aristotle wasn't against finding someone friggin' funny or friggin' sexy or friggin' rich. He believed these pleasure-bringing qualities were good for stirring up passion, which humans need to be our fullest selves! But Aristotle recognized "superficial lures" and material goods were simply what he called "means to the ends" of happiness, not "the final ends," which is always to grow into your most esteemed self.

As Aristotle said: "Men imagine the causes of happiness lie in external goods. That is as if they were to ascribe fine and beautiful lyre playing to the quality of the instrument rather than the skill of the player."

Or as I like to say, "It's just as easy to complain about a rich man as it is to complain about a poor man."

Basically, it doesn't matter how rich a guy is if his behavior makes you twitchy and miserable.

While on the subject of money, Aristotle was no fan of slackers either. He recognized that being or dating poor brought its share of problems. He even admitted the lack of a certain amount of wealth was as much an obstacle to happiness as deprivation of freedom. He gladly accepted that some wealth was needed to be happy—just as exciting bodily pleasures were needed. But again, wealth and bodily pleasures were mere means to the ends of happiness—these ultimate ends being to nourish your soul, so you can reach your most esteemed level of self.

A big secret to happiness? Stop focusing on finding a Mr. Right! Start focusing on finding Life Plan Right. When a Mr. Potential Right comes along, you must ask yourself if this guy will lead you to Life Plan Right or Life Plan Wrong.

As you get to know the guy, look to see if he:
1. Offers you exciting growth as well as exciting grope
2. Has developed good character—so he'll be a positive influence on your character development.

If the guy scores two for two, you're likely in Prince Charming territory.




http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Are-You-Dating-Prince-Charming-or-Prince-Harming/4

7 Signs You're Acting Like a Crazy Girl

The first thing every girl should know about a guy is that they are born to hunt and that they can sense when a girl is acting crazy. Boys love to chase and accomplish things, especially women. When we stop playing hard to get, and start acting like a needy child, boys lose all interest in us! That's why when a girl is acting crazy, most guys will just take off.  So ladies, do you know when a girl is acting crazy?  Or when you are acting crazy?   Heres a list of the top 8 signs to tell if you've lost your cool, and gained some crazy!

   1.CONSTANTLY CALLING AND TEXTING A GUY

Having to text a guy first, shame on him, having to text a guy four times, shame on you. Ladies, when you text a guy four times in a row and he hasn't texted you back, this is absolutely one of the signs that you're acting crazy!   A lot of guys are unsure if you are into them or not so It's a way to let him know you're approachable, but having to text him more times then that just screams needy. If he isn't making the effort to contact you first, or even respond to you at all, he's most likely not interested or scared of you.

2. ASKING EVERY PERSON IF "HE'S INTO YOU"

Yes, we all love to tell stories of that cute boy we hung out with or are talking to. What else are girlfriends for? But constantly having to ask other peoples opinion if he's into you should show you a sign that you're acting crazy. When someone is into us we know it. Having to tell the same story over twenty times to people makes you look a little nuts. Girls, if he is into you, you'll know it, no need to keep asking!  This is totally one of the things girls do when they are a little nutty!

3. PHYSICAL AND CYBER STALKING

There is a difference between checking out your crush online, and spending 2 hours learning everything about him before getting to know him in person. One of the signs a girl is acting crazy is stalking him on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr -- all night long!  With all of the different ways to see where your crush is hanging out, it's easy to stalk him, but that can be a little creepy on his part.  Just play it cool ladies!

4. ALWAYS AVAILABLE FOR HIM

Another sign a girl is crazy is that she is constantly available to him, whenever he asks to do anything.  Make your crush wait a bit before you answer the phone, try a different day if he asks you out.  You don't want him to think that your schedule is constantly clear!

5. EMOTIONALLY INVESTED TOO SOON

Oh ladies, this is absolutely one of the biggest signs a girl is crazy when they instantly become in love with any guy that shows them attention.  Keep yourself a little more guarded, a little more reserved and don't become emotionally invested right away and it'll be better in the long run ladies!

6. PERSONALITY CHANGE

When you're dating a guy, you never want to morph into someone completely different.  Ladies, he likes you for a reason, why would you need to change?  Just because he likes cars and trucks, doesn't mean you have to too!  Have your own likes, dislikes and opinions!

7. CHECKING YOUR PHONE EVERY FIVE SECONDS

Oh the phone, I actually do this a lot now and I've been in a relationship for a while!  Checking your phone constantly see if he has called or texted is another sign a girl is acting crazy.  Just calm down, no need to constantly check your phone!

We all know what its like to have those crazy butterflies that make you think, dream, and breathe only about that crush you have. If you're going to act like a crazy girl the best way to do it is in hiding because of course there is a little crazy in all of us. Remember to play it cool, stick to being yourself, and remember you're more then enough for any guy. What other ways have you found yourself acting a little nuts?

http://love.allwomenstalk.com/signs-youre-acting-like-a-crazy-girl/7/

Steps for Manifesting Your Ideal Mate

Advice for Attracting Partners

Are you looking for that perfect someone to share your life with? Finding that elusive ideal mate doesn't come that easily for most of us because we haven't learned the importance of being very clear in our thoughts what type of person would truly make us happy. When we are projecting a "murky image" of our desires it is nearly impossible for the universe to deliver a perfect package.

Manifesting Mistakes

Example of a Vague Message - You ask your neighbor to go to the mall to buy a blue blouse. You don't tell her what size to get, what fabric you would like, or even what shade of blue you had in mind. She returns from her shopping trip with a navy and white checkered double knit polyester top. This wasn't at all what you had in mind. You had a pale blue chiffon number in mind for yourself? Well, the only good thing about her blouse choice is that she is wearing it. Your neighbor assumed you meant for her to go out and treat herself to a blouse. And you can't really blame her for misunderstanding because you didn't make yourself very clear, now did you?

This same problem can arise in attracting partners. If we are unclear in our minds about what type of traits we want in our partners then we can expect to be alone for awhile until the fog clears or worse, end up with a real loser. I'm not disregarding the fact that there are lessons to be learned in all our relationships and coupling experiences. But let's not go down that road today. If you are ready to "Manifest Your Ideal Mate" I've laid out some basic steps to help you.

Steps for Manifesting Your Ideal Mate

1. Self Evaluation - Where are you at in your life at the moment? How did you get here. Are you happy? Are you sad?
2. Evaluate Past Relationships -What aspects in those individuals made you happiest? What aspects were not so great? Are you ready for a new relationship and all that it involves?
3. Get Clear About Your Needs - Explore your personal reasons for wanting to manifest a mate. Are you lonely? Are you seeking financial freedom? Are you in need of emotional support? No reason is wrong, it's helpful to know where you are coming from to better understand your needs.
4. Realize You Cannot Override Free Will - Ask and you shall receive as long as you are not infringing upon another person's free will. This means focusing on any particular person to be your perfect mate is non productive. Turn your focus toward your "ideal personality."
5. Like Attracts Like - Consider all the various traits you are seeking in a person (kindness, generosity, wealth, honesty...etc.). Do you have these same traits? Like attracts like. When we portray the images that we wish to attract in ourselves we naturally magnetize people with these same traits toward us.
6. Make A Manifest List - Write out your desires on paper. This exercise is no different than selecting the specs for your new automobile. You pick and choose the characteristics you like; height, weight, color of eyes, hair, etc. If you aren't particular about physical appearances then leave that door open. Just remember, any doors left open are an invitation to chance. How adventuresome are you? Are you wanting to be married? Or are you are just seeking a friend to date without strings attached? You'll get the idea. Being specific clears up the murky images, the details are important.
7. Dedicate Your Intentions - Dedicate your "manifest list" with an affirmation or prayer asking for it to be fulfilled with the aid of the universe.
8. Release Your Request to the Universe - Allow your list to cook and simmer. The universe has now received your request. Trust that everything will work out perfectly. Doubting this will be giving the universe conflicting messages that say you aren't ready to have your life's desires fulfilled. Doubtful thinking will only create road blocks along the path to finding your perfect mate.
9. Take Action - Pay attention to your gut instincts being sure to follow them to see where they lead you. This is important, so listen up. Don't think you can just stay at home every evening sitting in front of your computer or television and the universe is going to plant your perfect mate on your doorstep. Oh, I think it could happen that way, but becoming an active participant in this process will speed up the results. If you suddenly get an urge to go to the market when you aren't hungry, go anyway. Your perfect mate is likely squeezing the tomatoes in the produce aisle that very minute! Or, if it strikes you that you ought to attend a circus in a neighboring town, do it even if you hate the smell of elephant dung and normally wouldn't dream of going near the circus. You just never know who might be flying in the air waiting for you to catch them when they fall from life's trapeze.

Helpful Hints

Be careful what you ask for because you'll get it! Don't make the mistake of writing down you want a rich person unless you don't mind possibly attracting a miser. Instead, ask for a financially secure person of generous heart.

http://healing.about.com/cs/selfactualization/a/manifestamate.htm