DIY Soulmate: Design Him Yourself!

If you know what you are looking for, the task of finding your soul mate will be much easier and the journey will accelerate. Love is like a puzzle, so you seek a partner who provides a snug fit, not an identical copy of you. The more you both share as you discover each other, the greater your joy will be. You are looking for a partner and a friend. The physics of attraction are universal. If you focus on bringing something or someone into your life, you will attract him.

This guide will help you paint a portrait, to define the attributes and qualities of your ideal soulmate. This exercise is a breeze: it's all about you! Most fascinating, you will be surprised at what you will learn about yourself.

A deeply felt relationship will grow more beautiful and substantial over the course of your lifetime. Your team of two will face, overcome and survive the challenges life presents. Use your wish list wisely. When you can answer, "What will I bring to the table?" you can define the best person to call your partner.

This exercise must be an open and honest conversation with yourself. It cannot be done in a hurry. Spend as much time as it takes to flesh out the desired attributes of your partner. Make your list on paper. Hand write it, make it as long as you want and get specific. Focus. Take a break and come back to see your list in a different light. Do some of your requirements strike you as shallow or leftover from an old you? Discard them.

Above all, make sure you haven't forgotten a single thing on your list. Once you have envisioned the whole character of your soulmate, your wish list will offer an interesting reflection of you. Keep it on your altar or burn it on the beach in a ceremony. You will know the right way for you to offer your request to the Universe.

Here are a few questions to help guide your exploration of your soulmate list:

WORK

Does your soulmate work? Is he dependable? How does he value his work? Will he be a good provider? The importance that a man places on his employment often reflects his dependability. As you raise a family, how committed will he be?


LEISURE

How does he spend his free time hours? How do you? Is he project based, fixing this and maintaining that? Does he hunger for creative expression or for adventure and travel? Is he more of a homebody or a couch potato? Is he dependent on you for fun or does he have his own interests? How a man spends his leisure time is often an indicator of his potential performance as a father.


DRIVE

What is his general disposition? What is yours? Is he a go-getter? Is he reserved and cautious? Does he look before he leaps? Is he a sprinter or a long distance runner?


COMMITMENT

Does he keep his word? Does he follow through and do what he says he is going to do? Does he complete a project?


POSESSIONS

What does your mate own? What does he cherish? What is most important to him? How a man cares for his possessions is often an indicator of his potential as a provider. Does he keep his belongings in good condition?


HEALTH

How does your mate regard his body? How does he treat his temple? Is he hoping to be around awhile? And is he doing what it takes?


SELF-ESTEEM

How do you feel about yourself? How will your mate feel about himself? In life, we all go through ups and downs, at various times. In general, what is his outlook on life? Sunny or gloomy? What does he respect?


SPIRITUALITY

What is your spiritual core? How do you honor Life? How should he? It may be very important to you to find a man with the same religion. A deep spiritual sense, of another belief, may be just as good.


CHALLENGES & VICTORY

How does your man face uncertainty? When times are tough, how does he react? Fear is a normal and everyday part of life. Insecurity is nothing to be embarrassed about. Conversely, how does he win? With grace and humility? Or does he strut and gloat? Victory and defeat are fascinating aspects of a person's character.


FUN

How does he define fun? Does he laugh? What type of humor makes him laugh loudest? And you? Do you prefer a partner who brings a healthy dose of sarcasm? Is his humor clean or dirty? Is it offered in kindness or out of spite?


TRADITIONS

You can learn much from one's respect and understanding of tradition. Are family or religious customs important? Does he hold dearly certain practices that are handed down over time?


YOUR SOULMATE WISHLIST

Realistically, you may not find a bull's-eye, a man who meets every one of your requirements. Aim for a majority, not perfection. When you honor your list and refuse to settle, you may wait longer, but you will be happier in the long run. Don't give in to loneliness and choose the wrong mate.
Your list is a road map that leads you in the right direction. It will help you manifest and conjure. Finding a soulmate is an exercise in compatibility. As co-captains in Life, you will sail your ship over calm and stormy seas. Do you work well together? Yes! You are soulmates!

9 Subtle Ways To Flirt With Men

Ways to Flirt with Men range from openly asking them out to shyly staring at him from the corner. But, as with anything else in life, there is a happy medium and plenty of subtle ways to flirt with men! The key isn't as tricky as many people might would think! There are a few subtle yet attention-grabbing things you can do to make sure his eyes are on you all evening long! It doesn't matter if you are married, in a relationship or single-these tips will give you some great ways to flirt with men! Whether it's the one you have or the one you plan to get, you'll be so glad you read this article that is bursting with super fabulous tips on ways to flirt with men!

1. BE PLAYFUL-A GREAT WAY TO FLIRT WITH MEN

Men love a woman who can laugh and smile along with the rest of them so remember not to be too uptight and stiff! Go with the flow and make little jokes and tease him. Just don't be TOO much of a tease and stay away from any sort of teasing that could be taken in the wrong way! If a guy thinks you are making fun of him, you can bet he won't be asking for your number at the end of the night!

2. WEAR A DRESS

One of the best ways to flirt with men without needing to say a single word is by putting on a girly, floaty, feminine dress! Guys love it when a girl wears a dress or a skirt. Remember, part of flirting is all in the attitude, so if you want to come across as flirty, you need to feel flirty. Wearing a dress is a great way to achieve that!

3. SMILE AT HIM

Think about it: How many guys would you be interested in if all they did was frown at you? No one likes a sour face! Suck on a mint, slap on some gloss, use whitening strips-whatever you need to do in order to flash those pearly whites! And catch and hold his gaze from across a room if you want him to know you are interested in talking to him a bit more later on!

4. TOUCH HIM LIGHTLY

It doesn't take much to get a guy's pulse pounding a little harder and one of my favorite ways to do that and one of the best ways to flirt with men is by lightly touching him while you are having a conversation. How's that for killing two birds with one stone! Tap his forearm while you converse together, brush shoulders when you walk past him or graze his leg as you sit beside him. He will notice, believe me!

5.COMPLIMENT HIM-A SUREFIRE WAY TO FLIRT WITH MEN

Men love to be admired and have their ego stroked, especially by women. And complimenting a guy is one of the best ways to flirt with him! So find something to mention to him that will stand out. Be sincere about it, but let him know that you noticed! 

6. BE INTERESTED

If you want to know one of the most effective ways to flirt with men, it's by showing interest. If a guy doesn't think you care, he may not give you a second glance no matter how pretty you are! Ask him about his work, his hobbies and what he likes to do. Look at him when he talks to you and make eye contact. Just be careful not to pry into personal areas of his life right away!

7. PAY ATTENTION TO HIM

When there is a roomful of cute, available guys, it can be easy to move on to the next one if the one you're talking to doesn't seem very interesting at first. But in order to get HIS attention, you need to make him feel like you aren't scoping out all the other guys in the room! Talk and look at HIM, even if his buddies are standing nearby. This shows him you are interested in HIM even though there are other fish in the sea!

8. BITE YOUR LOWER LIP

I've heard many guys say that it's sexy when a girl bites her lower lip softly. It's one of the many ways to flirt with a guy, so give it a shot! Just don't overdo it. You don't want to come across as nervous or chew off all your lipstick. Every now and then for emphasis is just fine!

9. BE RELAXED

Guys can sense when a girl is nervous or scared. So try not to be too uptight! Relax, be yourself and let the mood flow. That's the best piece of advice I can give you on ways to flirt with men. He will know if you are being sincere with him and it will all be downhill from there!

I hope you enjoyed my article with ways to flirt with men. As women, flirting is one of our natural rights, isn't it? Of course! And it pays to know the best ways to flirt with men! So use them as often as you can! Just use discretion and most importantly-have fun! Do you have any great tips or ways to flirt with men? Please comment below and thanks for reading!

http://love.allwomenstalk.com/subtle-ways-to-flirt-with-men

7 Signs You're Acting Like a Crazy Girl

The first thing every girl should know about a guy is that they are born to hunt and that they can sense when a girl is acting crazy. Boys love to chase and accomplish things, especially women. When we stop playing hard to get, and start acting like a needy child, boys lose all interest in us! That's why when a girl is acting crazy, most guys will just take off.  So ladies, do you know when a girl is acting crazy?  Or when you are acting crazy?   Heres a list of the top 8 signs to tell if you've lost your cool, and gained some crazy!

   1.CONSTANTLY CALLING AND TEXTING A GUY

Having to text a guy first, shame on him, having to text a guy four times, shame on you. Ladies, when you text a guy four times in a row and he hasn't texted you back, this is absolutely one of the signs that you're acting crazy!   A lot of guys are unsure if you are into them or not so It's a way to let him know you're approachable, but having to text him more times then that just screams needy. If he isn't making the effort to contact you first, or even respond to you at all, he's most likely not interested or scared of you.

2. ASKING EVERY PERSON IF "HE'S INTO YOU"

Yes, we all love to tell stories of that cute boy we hung out with or are talking to. What else are girlfriends for? But constantly having to ask other peoples opinion if he's into you should show you a sign that you're acting crazy. When someone is into us we know it. Having to tell the same story over twenty times to people makes you look a little nuts. Girls, if he is into you, you'll know it, no need to keep asking!  This is totally one of the things girls do when they are a little nutty!

3. PHYSICAL AND CYBER STALKING

There is a difference between checking out your crush online, and spending 2 hours learning everything about him before getting to know him in person. One of the signs a girl is acting crazy is stalking him on Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr -- all night long!  With all of the different ways to see where your crush is hanging out, it's easy to stalk him, but that can be a little creepy on his part.  Just play it cool ladies!

4. ALWAYS AVAILABLE FOR HIM

Another sign a girl is crazy is that she is constantly available to him, whenever he asks to do anything.  Make your crush wait a bit before you answer the phone, try a different day if he asks you out.  You don't want him to think that your schedule is constantly clear!

5. EMOTIONALLY INVESTED TOO SOON

Oh ladies, this is absolutely one of the biggest signs a girl is crazy when they instantly become in love with any guy that shows them attention.  Keep yourself a little more guarded, a little more reserved and don't become emotionally invested right away and it'll be better in the long run ladies!

6. PERSONALITY CHANGE

When you're dating a guy, you never want to morph into someone completely different.  Ladies, he likes you for a reason, why would you need to change?  Just because he likes cars and trucks, doesn't mean you have to too!  Have your own likes, dislikes and opinions!

7. CHECKING YOUR PHONE EVERY FIVE SECONDS

Oh the phone, I actually do this a lot now and I've been in a relationship for a while!  Checking your phone constantly see if he has called or texted is another sign a girl is acting crazy.  Just calm down, no need to constantly check your phone!

We all know what its like to have those crazy butterflies that make you think, dream, and breathe only about that crush you have. If you're going to act like a crazy girl the best way to do it is in hiding because of course there is a little crazy in all of us. Remember to play it cool, stick to being yourself, and remember you're more then enough for any guy. What other ways have you found yourself acting a little nuts?

http://love.allwomenstalk.com/signs-youre-acting-like-a-crazy-girl/7/

12 Relationship Truths I Wish I Knew 12 Years Ago

Twelve years ago I was eighteen and just entering college.  Since then, friends and acquaintances have come and gone, girlfriends have come and gone, and I met the love of my life, Angel.  I’ve found through my years – through my experience with my own personal relationships – that there are certain undeniable truths that affect the quality and longevity of our relationships, and the resulting impact they have on us.  I share them with you today in hopes that they save you from a little heartache and confusion.

1. You have to love yourself first. – In order to truly have a loving, supportive, and long-lasting relationship with someone else, you need to learn how to be your own best friend first.  It’s all about falling in love with yourself and sharing that love with someone who appreciates you, rather than looking for love to compensate for a self love deficit.  
2. You get what you put in. – In twelve years, people won’t remember what clothes you wore, which car you drove, and maybe not even your full name.  But in twelve years, they will remember how you made them feel and the positive memories you gave them.  The true impact you make on people will depend on the time and attention you give to teaching those who know less, caring for those who have less, supporting those who are striving, and tolerating those who are different than you.
3. What most people think of you doesn’t matter. – You wouldn’t worry so much about what people thought of you if you knew just how seldom they do.  No one is ever going to care about your life and the way you choose to live it more than you will.  That is a beautiful thing – never forget how beautiful.  Follow your heart, and take your brain with you every step of the way.  Get to know your true self.  When you are truly comfortable in your own skin, not everyone will like you, but you won’t care about it one bit.
4. Friends and family won’t always support your goals, but you must pursue them anyway. – Follow your intuition.  Following your intuition means doing what feels right, even if it doesn’t look or sound right to others.  Only time will tell, but our human instincts are rarely ever wrong.  So don’t worry about what everyone else thinks; keep living and speaking your truth.  The only people that will get mad at you for doing so are those who want you to live a lie.  
5. Life doesn’t always change as fast as people do. – Learn to accept that not everyone is who you once knew.  And realize that sometimes it’s not the person you miss, it’s the feeling you had when you were with them.
6. Some people are meant to stay in your heart, but not in your life. – If you’re having a tough time letting go of someone who left you, realize that if they wanted to stay they would still be there.  Sometimes you have to forget what’s gone, appreciate what still remains, and look forward to what’s coming next.  It sucks when you know that you need to let go, but you can’t because you’re still hoping for the impossible to happen.  Yes, it will hurt for awhile, but you have to forget about the person who forgot about you, and move on.
7. Everyone has baggage, just like you. – The minute someone decides to walk out of your life, that is the same moment in which the opportunity and space opens up for someone who actually deserves your love to finally walk in.  Remember, everyone has baggage, so don’t be ashamed of yours.  Be patient and find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.
8. Love doesn’t hurt.  Love is not the problem. – Don’t blame love if a failed relationship interfered with your other important relationships, or robbed you of your self-esteem and personal freedoms.  No, don’t blame love.  For it wasn’t love that stole from you.  It was possession.  It was obsession.  It was manipulation.  It was confusion.  Love had nothing to do with your situation.  For love doesn’t close the door against all that is good.  It opens it wide to let more goodness in.  Love creates freedom and abundance. 
9. Forgiveness is always the right choice. – Anyone can hold a grudge, but it takes a person with strong character to forgive.  When you forgive, you release yourself from a painful burden.  And no, forgiveness doesn’t mean what happened was OK; and it doesn’t mean that person should still be welcome in your life.  It simply means you have made peace with the pain, and are ready to let it go and move on with your life.
10. Love requires three things: acceptance, honesty, and commitment. – Love comes when you care more about who the other person really is, rather than about who you think they should become.  It’s about daring to reveal yourself honestly, and daring to be open and vulnerable over the long-term.  It’s about sticking by each other’s side through thick and thin, and truly being there in the flesh and spirit when you’re needed most.  Remember, the most romantic love story is not Romeo and Juliet who died young together; it’s the story of grandma and grandpa who helped each other through life, and grew old together.
11. A big part of who you become is who you choose to surround yourself with. – Fate controls who walks into your life, but you decide who you let walk out, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.  Surround yourself with people who make you a better person, and let go of those who don’t.
12. A soul mate is a person who brings out the best in you. – They are far from perfect, but they are a perfect fit for you.  Remember, every relationship has its problems, but what makes it perfect is when you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, even when times are tough.

http://www.marcandangel.com/2012/10/08/12-relationship-truths-i-wish-i-knew/

How To Accept Yourself As You Are Now

It’s an old adage that you must love yourself before you can love anyone else, but some people find this almost impossible. They think they need to find someone else to accept them first before they can believe that they’re a lovable and worthwhile human being. Self acceptance is the key to dating success but how can you achieve it?

How do you talk to yourself?

Many people are experts at beating themselves up. They criticise, complain, judge, condemn and berate themselves from morning until night. They talk to themselves in ways that are so harsh and cruel that they would never speak to anyone else that way. If that inner voice were a separate person from them they wouldn’t want to spend a single day together, let alone a lifetime!

We all have shortcomings, habits we want to change, difficulties we can’t seem to overcome or beliefs which hold us back. Beating ourselves up over them only makes matters worse, never better.

Become your own best friend

It will take a concerted effort to change that inner voice but one way of doing it is to imagine you’re your own best friend. What would your friend say when you made a mistake or didn’t want to get out of bed in the morning?

Your best friend will usually have your best interests at heart and will approach difficulties with kindness and compassion. Their aim will be to find ways to encourage and motivate you rather than make you feel worse about yourself.

Take action

Giving yourself a hard time for being overweight for example, will do nothing to solve the problem. If anything you’re more likely to over-indulge if you are living with the daily assault of a harsh inner critic. Self-blame gets in the way of constructive action. Only by becoming more compassionate and self-accepting will you ever be able to find the strength and motivation to tackle whatever problems are holding you back in life.

Get some balance

Most people are well versed in listing their own faults but seem blind to their assets. A helpful exercise can be to list your faults on one side of a page and then write the opposite of that fault on the other e.g. the opposite of irresponsible is responsible. If you think about it you’ll no doubt find many instances where you have been responsible.

You will possess both the positive and negative characteristic but often won’t recognise or focus as much on the positive. All of us have the full spectrum because we are all human. The characteristics that we focus on the most usually get out of balance. What you resist persists. If you’re constantly trying to stop being lazy it will probably make you lazier. If however you accept that you’re sometimes lazy and that it’s okay, the inner battle will stop and you’ll have more energy to do the things you want to do.

Focus on what you have to offer rather than what you want to get

When you begin dating it’s much easier to focus on all the qualities and attributes you want a new partner to have – they’re usually things that you feel are lacking in you.

A great short cut to self acceptance is to begin to focus on what you would bring to a new relationship and how these things could enhance someone’s life. Things like a love for cooking or decorating for example, are important assets which could enrich a relationship.

Write down these assets and if you get stuck ask your friends and family what they like about you. They may notice things that you are completely unaware of and it will boost your confidence to hear them.

http://www.eharmony.co.uk/relationship-advice/start-with-you/2013/07/how-to-accept-yourself-as-you-are-now#.UfjnaI21Hnc

15 Great First Date Questions

There they sit—you could spot them a mile away. A man and woman face each other across a table at a downtown bistro, looking nervous and awkward. No doubt about it, they’re on their first date.

How do we know it’s their first time out together? All the observable and obvious clues: They are nicely groomed and wearing freshly pressed clothes—stylish, but not overdone. There is a stiff formality to the way they sit—no slouching. They scan the room, menu, and table setting, only occasionally making eye contact.

Biggest clue of all: The salad course is punctuated by strained silence and forced small talk. The two pick at their dinner salads, staring down at the leafy mound before them. He seems tongue-tied, she seems self-conscious. Finally, one of them tries to grease the wheels of conversation.

Him: How’s your salad?
Her: Good. And yours?
Him: Yeah, really good.

More excruciating silence ensues. You can almost read their minds. He thinks, “C’mon, say something! Anything! This is torture.” She thinks, “Why doesn’t he ask me any questions? Or maybe I should—but I don’t know what to say! How can I get out of this?”
On it goes. More mute lulls. More perfunctory questions. More salad staring.

As would-be romances go, this plane is very slow to leave the gate and get onto the runway. It remains to be seen if it will pick up speed, gain altitude, and soar skyward . . . or if it will lose engine power and sit on the tarmac indefinitely.

Singles: do not let this happen to you! It’s true that first dates can be one of the most nerve-wracking, anxiety-producing situations in our society. Sometimes they lead to burning love; sometimes they go down in flames. The key to having a positive experience is relaxed conversation, and that can be helped along with some well-chosen first-date questions. Before we get to those, let’s review a few general guidelines for dating discourse:

Listen as much or more than you talk. Some people consider themselves skilled communicators because they can talk endlessly. But the ability to speak is only one part of the equation—and not the most important part. The best communication occurs with an even and equal exchange between two people. Think of conversation as a tennis match in which the players lob the ball back and forth. Each person gets a turn—and no one hogs the ball.

Peel the onion, don’t stab it with a paring knife. Getting to know someone new is like peeling an onion one thin layer at the time. It’s a slow and safe process. But some people, overeager to get into deep and meaningful conversation, go too far too fast. They ask personal or sensitive questions that put the other person on the defensive. Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. For now, take it easy.

Don’t dump. If feeling inhibited is a problem for some people, others go to the opposite extreme: they use a date as an opportunity to purge and vent. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy.

Genuine interest goes a long way. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. Either way, it’s exciting to be able to get to know another human being and get a peek into his or her world. Great communication starts with being genuinely interested in the individual you’re with and paying close attention to what he/she says. The process begins by providing lots of space for the full expression of information and asking follow-up questions to further draw out the one talking.

With those thoughts in mind, now it’s time to think about specific first date questions.

Try these:

1. Who has been the biggest influence in your life?
2. What kinds of things really make you laugh?
3. What’s your favorite place in the entire world?
4. Who is your best friend? What do you like about him/her?
5. Favorite movie of all time? Why so?
6. What’s your biggest goal in life right now?
7. What is your favorite way to spend a Saturday?
8. Do you have any pet peeves?
9. What was your family like growing up?
10. What were you like as a kid?
11. What should I know about you that I’d never think to ask about?
12. Did you—or do you—have a nickname? What’s the story behind it?
13. Who was your favorite schoolteacher or college professor? Why?
14. Have you figured out your calling in life? What is it?
15. What do you hate most about the dating process? (Tell me so I can avoid it!)

Maybe you’ve got your own great first date questions, surefire winners that get the conversation rolling. If not, use these and come up with others—but by all means, give some forethought to how you’d like a discussion with a new partner to unfold. You’ll give yourself a chance at a magnificent, rather than miserable, first date.

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/dating/15-great-first-date-questions/#.UffrvI21Hnc

The Zen of Love: How to Attract “The One”

How many times have you heard a single woman say, “There just aren’t any good men, are there?” or “Why is it impossible to meet a great guy?” or “Where can I find an eligible man I want to date?”

All of these questions are founded on the myth that wonderful, loving, attractive, SINGLE men are in short supply, as if they       were an endangered species.

The truth is this: there ARE good men out there, you CAN meet a great guy and the men are EVERYWHERE. Really, I am not just making this up. Good men can be found on the major online dating sites, in bookstores, on tennis courts, at Starbucks, in line at the grocery store, and yes, even in churches.

So, at the risk of getting all “woo-woo” and cosmic, maybe you are asking the wrong question. Instead of lamenting the lack of great men, maybe the question you should be asking is, “How can I attract my soulmate into my life?”

Back in my Middle-Aged Babe Magnet days, the best dating advice I ever received came from a happily married friend who had met his wife after a messy divorce and several years of unfulfilled dating. He told me that he got tired of dating women who weren’t quite right for him for one reason or another. “I kept attracting the wrong kind of women,” he said. “After a while, I realized that the one thing in common with all of these not-so-great relationships was ME.”

That’s when he decided to step back from the dating world and do a little work on himself. He joined a health club and he lost weight. He joined a book club at a local community center and he started to feed his mind. He dusted off his old guitar and started to take lessons again.

In the terminology that my mother used to use, he became a better “catch.” He became more three dimensional and more interesting and more self-fulfilled. He became more comfortable in his own skin. He became the best version of himself that he could.

Keep in mind that he didn’t do all of this to make himself more attractive to the opposite sex. He did it so that he would have a better life. But, of course, the result of his “life makeover” was that he became VERY attractive to women. And he attracted exactly the woman that he of dreamed of, because now he was READY for her.

A similar thing happened to me. After dating for a couple of years and not finding “The One,” I decided to let my online dating membership expire and let fate take its course. I decided to turn over the matchmaking process to the Universe and learn to enjoy my life—with or without a mate. I realized I had been trying too hard, and it was time for me to let go.

I’ll bet you can guess the end of this story. As soon as I decided to relax and enjoy the flow of my life, I met the wonderful woman who has recently become my wife.

There really is a Zen to finding love. So if all of your efforts to find “The One” aren’t working for you, take a break from the search. Do a little self-work, and become the person to whom your soulmate will be attracted.

When the time is right and when you are ready, he will find you.

http://www.datingwithoutdrama.com/the-zen-of-love-how-to-attract-%E2%80%9Cthe-one%E2%80%9D/

Steps for Manifesting Your Ideal Mate

Advice for Attracting Partners

Are you looking for that perfect someone to share your life with? Finding that elusive ideal mate doesn't come that easily for most of us because we haven't learned the importance of being very clear in our thoughts what type of person would truly make us happy. When we are projecting a "murky image" of our desires it is nearly impossible for the universe to deliver a perfect package.

Manifesting Mistakes

Example of a Vague Message - You ask your neighbor to go to the mall to buy a blue blouse. You don't tell her what size to get, what fabric you would like, or even what shade of blue you had in mind. She returns from her shopping trip with a navy and white checkered double knit polyester top. This wasn't at all what you had in mind. You had a pale blue chiffon number in mind for yourself? Well, the only good thing about her blouse choice is that she is wearing it. Your neighbor assumed you meant for her to go out and treat herself to a blouse. And you can't really blame her for misunderstanding because you didn't make yourself very clear, now did you?

This same problem can arise in attracting partners. If we are unclear in our minds about what type of traits we want in our partners then we can expect to be alone for awhile until the fog clears or worse, end up with a real loser. I'm not disregarding the fact that there are lessons to be learned in all our relationships and coupling experiences. But let's not go down that road today. If you are ready to "Manifest Your Ideal Mate" I've laid out some basic steps to help you.

Steps for Manifesting Your Ideal Mate

1. Self Evaluation - Where are you at in your life at the moment? How did you get here. Are you happy? Are you sad?
2. Evaluate Past Relationships -What aspects in those individuals made you happiest? What aspects were not so great? Are you ready for a new relationship and all that it involves?
3. Get Clear About Your Needs - Explore your personal reasons for wanting to manifest a mate. Are you lonely? Are you seeking financial freedom? Are you in need of emotional support? No reason is wrong, it's helpful to know where you are coming from to better understand your needs.
4. Realize You Cannot Override Free Will - Ask and you shall receive as long as you are not infringing upon another person's free will. This means focusing on any particular person to be your perfect mate is non productive. Turn your focus toward your "ideal personality."
5. Like Attracts Like - Consider all the various traits you are seeking in a person (kindness, generosity, wealth, honesty...etc.). Do you have these same traits? Like attracts like. When we portray the images that we wish to attract in ourselves we naturally magnetize people with these same traits toward us.
6. Make A Manifest List - Write out your desires on paper. This exercise is no different than selecting the specs for your new automobile. You pick and choose the characteristics you like; height, weight, color of eyes, hair, etc. If you aren't particular about physical appearances then leave that door open. Just remember, any doors left open are an invitation to chance. How adventuresome are you? Are you wanting to be married? Or are you are just seeking a friend to date without strings attached? You'll get the idea. Being specific clears up the murky images, the details are important.
7. Dedicate Your Intentions - Dedicate your "manifest list" with an affirmation or prayer asking for it to be fulfilled with the aid of the universe.
8. Release Your Request to the Universe - Allow your list to cook and simmer. The universe has now received your request. Trust that everything will work out perfectly. Doubting this will be giving the universe conflicting messages that say you aren't ready to have your life's desires fulfilled. Doubtful thinking will only create road blocks along the path to finding your perfect mate.
9. Take Action - Pay attention to your gut instincts being sure to follow them to see where they lead you. This is important, so listen up. Don't think you can just stay at home every evening sitting in front of your computer or television and the universe is going to plant your perfect mate on your doorstep. Oh, I think it could happen that way, but becoming an active participant in this process will speed up the results. If you suddenly get an urge to go to the market when you aren't hungry, go anyway. Your perfect mate is likely squeezing the tomatoes in the produce aisle that very minute! Or, if it strikes you that you ought to attend a circus in a neighboring town, do it even if you hate the smell of elephant dung and normally wouldn't dream of going near the circus. You just never know who might be flying in the air waiting for you to catch them when they fall from life's trapeze.

Helpful Hints

Be careful what you ask for because you'll get it! Don't make the mistake of writing down you want a rich person unless you don't mind possibly attracting a miser. Instead, ask for a financially secure person of generous heart.

http://healing.about.com/cs/selfactualization/a/manifestamate.htm