Monday, 14 April 2014

8 Breakup Myths That Are Totally Not True

Going through a breakup is really, really hard. Learning how to deal with a broken heart and trying to adjust to life without someone you used to be with all the time is hard enough as it is – but add on all of the myths and stereotypes that go along with breakups, and it gets that much harder. When you’re dealing with a relationship ending, you get advice and sayings thrown at you from every direction, and in the end, you don’t even know how you’re supposed to feel. And you’re probably angry. Really angry.
There are some basic guidelines on how to deal with a breakup, but the truth is, everyone has to do what works for them. That’s why you can’t pay attention to all of the crazy breakup myths out there. They can easily make you feel like you’re doing something wrong, and usually, you’re really not! Here are 8 breakup myths that are totally not true:

If It Wasn't Official, You Can't Be As Sad

Just because you were never officially boyfriend and girlfriend doesn't mean you don't have the right to be heartbroken! Ending something like a friends with benefits type of relationship can be just as bad, if not sometimes worse, than an "official" relationship. There is no shame in taking months to get over a guy who was never actually your boyfriend. Seriously




It Should Take You Half As Long As You Dated To Get Over Him

For example: if you dated for six months, you should get over him in three months. What? I don't know where this "rule" came from, but it's pretty ridiculous. There is no right amount of time you can spend on getting over someone. Sometimes it happens relatively quickly, other times it can take years. Everyone and every situation is different, and setting a silly guideline like this one just doesn't make sense.
 

To Get Over Someone, You Need To Get Under Someone Else

Rebounds work for some people, but they're not for everyone. If getting out there and flirting and finding someone else to hook up with helps you move on, great! Go for it. But it won't make everyone feel better... in fact, it makes some people feel worse. Personally, I know that rebounds only make me miss my ex even more when I'm dealing with a breakup. Don't feel like you have to get with someone else after a breakup. Take your time and do it when you're ready.

Men Don't Get Upset About Breakups

A lot of girls think that guys don't care about breakups as much as girls do because a lot of guys don't show their feelings. When most guys go through a breakup, they try to hide their emotions and sometimes do things like immediately date someone else... which makes girls think they never cared. But the opposite is true. A recent study even proves that breakups are harder on men than women. That's because guys don't have the support system women typically have after a breakup - they don't feel like they can be open about their emotions, so they keep everything in. Women deal with breakup heartache right away, while men tend to pretend it's not happening and internalize it, so they feel it for longer. Not always, but usually.

You Can Never Get Back With Your Ex

If you've ever considered giving an ex a second chance after a breakup, you've probably heard people say things like "he's an ex for a reason!" While that's sometimes true, it's not always true. After about eight months of dating, my BF and I broke up for a few months. We obviously ended up getting back together, and now we've been dating for almost four years! Sometimes people can make things work a second time around.

In Order To Get Over It, You Need To Eat Ice Cream

There is this stereotypical vision of a woman getting over a breakup: she's eating ice cream (usually Ben & Jerry's), stalking Facebook, and watching a sad romantic movie. But this isn't how every girl gets over someone! I know that personally, when I'm going through a breakup, I can barely even manage to eat at all, let alone eat a pint of ice cream in one sitting. Don't feel like you need to chow down in order to move on.

You'll Be Friends One Day

The truth is, you might not be. I am not friends with a few of my exes, and I seriously doubt I ever will be. While it can be great to move on and develop a nice friendship with an ex a few years later, it just can't always happen. Sometimes, things ended too badly or feelings were too strong. And sometimes, we just completely lose interest in having that person in our lives. That's okay.

You Must Get Closure

I am a person who needs a feeling of closure, so it took me a long time to realize that not everyone feels the same way. Some people are okay with not getting any kind of closure. Don't feel like you need to talk to him one more time to make everything okay. Sometimes it's okay to just let things be.



No comments:

Post a Comment