DIY Soulmate: Design Him Yourself!

If you know what you are looking for, the task of finding your soul mate will be much easier and the journey will accelerate. Love is like a puzzle, so you seek a partner who provides a snug fit, not an identical copy of you. The more you both share as you discover each other, the greater your joy will be. You are looking for a partner and a friend. The physics of attraction are universal. If you focus on bringing something or someone into your life, you will attract him.

This guide will help you paint a portrait, to define the attributes and qualities of your ideal soulmate. This exercise is a breeze: it's all about you! Most fascinating, you will be surprised at what you will learn about yourself.

A deeply felt relationship will grow more beautiful and substantial over the course of your lifetime. Your team of two will face, overcome and survive the challenges life presents. Use your wish list wisely. When you can answer, "What will I bring to the table?" you can define the best person to call your partner.

This exercise must be an open and honest conversation with yourself. It cannot be done in a hurry. Spend as much time as it takes to flesh out the desired attributes of your partner. Make your list on paper. Hand write it, make it as long as you want and get specific. Focus. Take a break and come back to see your list in a different light. Do some of your requirements strike you as shallow or leftover from an old you? Discard them.

Above all, make sure you haven't forgotten a single thing on your list. Once you have envisioned the whole character of your soulmate, your wish list will offer an interesting reflection of you. Keep it on your altar or burn it on the beach in a ceremony. You will know the right way for you to offer your request to the Universe.

Here are a few questions to help guide your exploration of your soulmate list:

WORK

Does your soulmate work? Is he dependable? How does he value his work? Will he be a good provider? The importance that a man places on his employment often reflects his dependability. As you raise a family, how committed will he be?


LEISURE

How does he spend his free time hours? How do you? Is he project based, fixing this and maintaining that? Does he hunger for creative expression or for adventure and travel? Is he more of a homebody or a couch potato? Is he dependent on you for fun or does he have his own interests? How a man spends his leisure time is often an indicator of his potential performance as a father.


DRIVE

What is his general disposition? What is yours? Is he a go-getter? Is he reserved and cautious? Does he look before he leaps? Is he a sprinter or a long distance runner?


COMMITMENT

Does he keep his word? Does he follow through and do what he says he is going to do? Does he complete a project?


POSESSIONS

What does your mate own? What does he cherish? What is most important to him? How a man cares for his possessions is often an indicator of his potential as a provider. Does he keep his belongings in good condition?


HEALTH

How does your mate regard his body? How does he treat his temple? Is he hoping to be around awhile? And is he doing what it takes?


SELF-ESTEEM

How do you feel about yourself? How will your mate feel about himself? In life, we all go through ups and downs, at various times. In general, what is his outlook on life? Sunny or gloomy? What does he respect?


SPIRITUALITY

What is your spiritual core? How do you honor Life? How should he? It may be very important to you to find a man with the same religion. A deep spiritual sense, of another belief, may be just as good.


CHALLENGES & VICTORY

How does your man face uncertainty? When times are tough, how does he react? Fear is a normal and everyday part of life. Insecurity is nothing to be embarrassed about. Conversely, how does he win? With grace and humility? Or does he strut and gloat? Victory and defeat are fascinating aspects of a person's character.


FUN

How does he define fun? Does he laugh? What type of humor makes him laugh loudest? And you? Do you prefer a partner who brings a healthy dose of sarcasm? Is his humor clean or dirty? Is it offered in kindness or out of spite?


TRADITIONS

You can learn much from one's respect and understanding of tradition. Are family or religious customs important? Does he hold dearly certain practices that are handed down over time?


YOUR SOULMATE WISHLIST

Realistically, you may not find a bull's-eye, a man who meets every one of your requirements. Aim for a majority, not perfection. When you honor your list and refuse to settle, you may wait longer, but you will be happier in the long run. Don't give in to loneliness and choose the wrong mate.
Your list is a road map that leads you in the right direction. It will help you manifest and conjure. Finding a soulmate is an exercise in compatibility. As co-captains in Life, you will sail your ship over calm and stormy seas. Do you work well together? Yes! You are soulmates!

Are You Too Picky to Find Love?

Can't find the perfect partner? Perhaps your standards are too high.

There's nothing wrong with standards. In fact, we should all have them. Everyone has a limit to what he, or she, will and won't accept in the love stakes. But in this day and age of entitlement, girl-power and skyscraper self-esteem, have we raised the "perfect partner" bar so high there's nobody good enough to settle down with? Have you become too picky when it comes to finding a mate? Well, if your perfect partner checklist looks more like a shopping list, or you find yourself regularly saying, "I just haven't met the one ... " yet you have been steadily dating for 15 years, it could be you have become a tad fussy, and sadly, are missing out on love. The good news is you can learn to be less picky by compromising on what you think you want so you can get what you really need. Here's how:

She's too picky: I can't respect a man that earns less than me

Most women want men who are more successful than they are. But, if you're at the top of your game, look around. There may not be too many men to choose from up there. You need to be flexible. When you let go of rigid beliefs and fantasies about your ideal partner you increase your chances of meeting someone. Making smart compromises doesn't mean you're settling for less (which won't make for a happy relationship anyway). It's about getting rid of superficial criteria that are unimportant. If you connect, have similar values and shared interests, what does it matter if a man earns less than you? The key to a happy relationship is balance and your ability to complement each other. A man who is less intense and has more time to devote to a relationship might be more suitable than a high-powered professional.

She's too picky: There's a connection but no chemistry

Beware, hormones can make you (1) go for the wrong guy, and (2) let the right guy go. When you're love-struck it's almost impossible to determine whether you're compatible, if he's selfish or unreliable or if you have anything beyond sex in common. Make sure you don't stop seeing someone just because there isn't lots of passion up front. You may find, after a few dates, you enjoy being with a man who has a great sense of humor and makes you feel totally accepted. As you get to know him and begin to appreciate qualities that make for a good long-term partnership, such as generosity, stability and dependability, true love and attraction may grow.

She's too picky: I want a man that can talk about "feelings"

If your idea of the perfect partner is a successful, good-looking alpha male then the chances are he's not going to be big on self-disclosure, micro-analysing your feelings and deep communication. You can't expect a date to be like a night out with the girls, or your gay friends. Instead be realistic and compromise on your wants. You may want deep and meaningfuls, but what you're really looking for is a partner who is confident and competent who can take the initiative, discuss the future with you and how you're going to get there. Don't expect one person to meet all your needs. You don't even expect that of your girlfriends.

He's too picky: she has to have a great body

 If you look for the negatives you will find them, so start from a place of optimism. Overlook the superficial things that aren't going to matter five, 10, 15 years down the road. Let's face it, none of us will be winning beauty contests 20 years from now. Zero in on the non-negotiables: qualities that make for good partnership material. Don't you want someone easygoing, warm and who doesn't try to change you? Of course you do.

He's too picky: I have a vague idea of what i want in a woman. I just haven't found her yet

Forget about looking over your shoulder for the perfect woman. She only exists in your imagination and in between the covers of men's magazines. Instead, get realistic or you could end up losing the person you have who is just as good, if not better, than the one you think is out there waiting for you.

He's too picky: I need someone who can keep up with me socially

It's impossible to have a long-term relationship when you have high expectations and rigid beliefs. If you're dating someone, and you're really enjoying their company, think big-picture. Are dinner parties and witty social banter really going to be big on your agenda when you're married with kids? Or is someone you click with going to be of more value?

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