Dating: How to Build a Relationship on Respect

Romantic dating is a way of life for many across the world. Find out how to enhance your dating relationship by communicating in a style built on mutual respect.

Singles, divorced persons, and widows or widowers have encountered a new style of dating, and the discovery is disappointing.

Dating: How to build a relationship on respect

Many people who date in today’s social economy aren’t exactly exhibiting old fashioned manners and traditional courting as previous generations did. Ex-spouses juggle child support and visitation, while professionals focus on building their careers. Though the need for respect in a dating relationship is a healthy part of a person’s inter-relational skills, it is a shrinking commodity.

In response to the soaring divorce rate, more couples are choosing to live together before marriage, even though eight out of ten will never make it to the ten-year mark, including those who marry. Some couples end up abusing each other or children from previous relationships. Hurt, rejection, and anger too often become outcomes of unhappy relationships. Family counselors suggest that a healthy relationship should be based on mutual respect.

1. If you feel disrespected, chances are your impression is correct. Reflect on the time spent with a person you are seeing and ask yourself what she or he does to make you uneasy. Does he raise his voice? Does she become easily irritated? Perhaps he insults you, even in a “teasing” way? Decide whether these are appropriate behaviors or if you are too sensitive.

2. Time is ticking. Does she call when she’s supposed to, or “forget” and then apologize? Everyone forgets occasionally, but if it happens frequently, there may be a problem. Does your date show up on time? Do you see each other regularly? A woman dated a man who saw her only on Sunday afternoons and Wednesday evenings. It turned out he was married with a family and told his wife he was at “church activities.” Are dates frequently changed or cancelled with little notice?

3. Are the two of you mutually supportive or self-serving? Does the person you’re seeing show interest in things you like? Does she encourage you when you feel low? Is he supportive of your goals? Can you discuss difficulties like a divorce, an elderly or sick parent, or a child- rearing issue? Is the person too busy to notice and care about these things?

4. Do the two of you share quality or questionable time? Do you feel special in receiving notes, cards, or small gifts? Do you go out in public together? Can you celebrate special events, anniversaries, or holidays? A naïve twenty-two-year-old found out her boyfriend who wanted to avoid public places was engaged to another woman and having a “final fling” before settling down. Does your date show courtesy by opening doors or walking on the curb? While “manners” may seem old fashioned, courtesy never goes out of style.

5. Are the two of you growing bitter or better? Do you argue more or less often? Is it over little or big things? Who usually wins? Is there a sense of give-and-take, or do you feel pressured to accept the other person’s way of doing things? Does he swear, use profanity, become physically violent with objects, or hurt you? Does she blame you for problems? Does your significant other respect your point of view?

6. Is your date faithful or faithless? Have you discovered lies or deceptions? Do the person’s family or friends say good things? Is there a string of broken relationships? Are there several children by different parents? Unpaid bills or bankruptcies? While any of these need not serve as a “red light,” they can indicate potential problems and require evaluation before the relationship becomes serious.

If you’re unsure whether the person in your life respects you, talk to a professional counselor for an objective opinion. Some singles struggle with low self-esteem and are unable to confidently assess their relationships with those who may be taking advantage of them. Others, insecure from previous problems, overreact to partners who sincerely care.

It’s not easy being single today. But wholesome dating choices and respectful interaction can lead to satisfying relationships.


http://www.tele-management.ca/2013/07/dating-how-to-build-a-relationship-on-respect/