5 Ways to Win Over His Parents

HOW TO IMPRESS
HIS PARENTS

Meeting your boyfriend's parents can be nerve-wracking. You want to impress them, but you don't want to seem like you're trying too hard. To leave the best impression and score a few points when you meet his parents, follow these tips.

DRESS APPROPRIATELY.

First impressions do matter, especially when you are meeting your boyfriend's parents. Your skirt shouldn't be too short (no more than an inch or two above the knee), and your top shouldn't be cut too low. The last thing you need is his mom telling everyone, "She dresses like a tramp." By the same token, keep your makeup simple, not overdone.
Keep in mind that dressing appropriately doesn't always mean dressing to the nines. If you are meeting at a casual restaurant or his parents always wear t-shirts and jeans, it doesn't make sense to wear a suit or fancy cocktail dress. Overdressing will make you seem snobby, while dressing too conservatively may make you appear uptight.
Talk with your partner about what he thinks is appropriate; get some insight into his parents' style, too.
Generally speaking, a sweater, knee-length skirt and low heels will work if you are meeting his parents in their home. Otherwise, dress appropriately for the location where you are getting together.

BAKE SOMETHING.

If you are heading to his parents' house for dinner, bake something to bring. If you can't bake, enlist a friend to come over and help you out. Cake, cookies or any type of goodies will impress.
Whatever you do, don't buy something from the local bakery and try to pass it off as homemade. His mom will know.

DO YOUR RESEARCH.

What type of work does his father do? What are his mom's hobbies? Where did your boyfriend grow up? Do your research so that you can bring up interesting topics (or at least participate in a conversation) about the family instead of talking incessantly about yourself. Going on and on about yourself will come off as conceited, no matter how great you are.

BE POLITE.

It goes without saying that you should be polite to your boyfriend's parents, but go the extra mile. Greet them with a handshake and a smile. Address them by Mr. and Mrs. _______, not their first names (check first that they share your boyfriend's last name, so you won't need to be corrected). Be complimentary to your boyfriend throughout the visit.
After the meal, offer to help with the dishes. Don't stay too late at their home, and when you are leaving, mention how much you've enjoyed meeting them. The next day, send a "thank you" note (yes, in the mail) for having you at their home.

MAKE AN OFFER FOR NEXT TIME.

Though they might not take you up on it, offer to take his parents out to dinner next time, or offer to cook for them at your place. Be sure to let your beau know that you are going to do this beforehand. Asking to take his parents out to dinner — your treat — will let them know you are financially secure (and not after their son's inheritance), while also hinting that you are going to be sticking around for a while.

http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/819138/5-Ways-to-score-points-when-you-meet-his-parents

How To Tell If He Likes You or Just Wants a Fling.

10 Signs He's Not The One

What if he's not Mr. Right?

Some people say they "just knew" that they were dating their future spouse. But what about the rest of us? What happens when you're not sure if he's The One? If you're considering long-term commitment or marriage, it's time to ask yourself some tough questions. Below, ten signs that may indicate he's not for you. 

1. You have a list of things he needs to stop doing/saying/wearing if he wants your relationship to work. If you're fixating on his flaws, he's either not the one you want or you're not ready for a serious relationship. Cutting him loose allows you time to grow and gives you the opportunity to meet a guy whose flaws you can embrace—or at least accept.

2. You don't trust him. A small dose of jealousy can be healthy, but if you're hacking into his email account, and popping Xanax when he hits up happy hour without you, something's wrong. If there's something about him that truly warrants your distrust, then perhaps he's not the right one for you.

3. You avoid conflict at any cost. Fighting is healthy. And, when done right (in the non-accusatory, rational sort of way), it can be a great way to air grievances, fix problems in your relationship and come to a deeper understanding of each other. Ignoring problems is not the same as having no problems at all... even if it looks that way. 

4. When you're sad, you don't turn to him for comfort. When you're a giant ball of tears and snot, do you lock yourself into the bathroom so he can't see you at your worst? If you're worried about scaring him away, one of you isn't ready for total commitment. Mr. Right should make you smile through your tears, and be a calming, not stressful, presence.

5. One of you is struggling with an addiction. He's sweet. He's exciting. He loves you very much. But he loves his alcohol habit or his weekly gambling fix more. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you can change him or that your relationship will be strong enough to withstand the heartache that addiction will inevitably bring. An addict may be able to change, but he'll do so on his own terms.

6. You can't really imagine him as the father of your children. Ask yourself: Would he make a great parent? Is he financially responsible? Would he be an equal partner in your future together? If you have doubts, he's probably not the one.

7. Your long-term, non-negotiable goals in life are incompatible. You want kids; he doesn't. You go to church every week; he's an atheist. He lives in the country and doesn't want to move; you can't imagine ever leaving the city. Superficial differences can be overcome, but differences in basic values are harder to smooth over. Ask yourself: "Would I be willing to compromise on this?" If the answer is absolutely not, you may not be right for each other.

8. You don't respect each other. He puts you down in front of your friends and complains about you to his parents. You roll your eyes when he talks because there's just something about him that embarrasses you. A relationship without respect can't sustain itself.

9. You're not attracted to him. Sex is a hugely important component of a romantic relationship. If he doesn't do it for you, he's probably not your best long-term match. 

10. On paper he seems great, but you have this strange feeling... Don't ignore your gut. You may get along on a superficial level, but if your instincts are telling you he's not the one for you, listen. That little voice inside your head does not lie.

http://www.yourtango.com/201053712/10-signs-hes-not-one/page/2

5 Things You Should Know About Him Before You Move In

Moving in together is like getting engaged but without any jewelry. If you know me, you know that I don’t recommend a move without a ring. But if you disagree with me on that, at least take into consideration some things you should know about him before you move in together to make sure that it happens only once and only with the right guy. 

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His finances

I know, money is an icky topic. And asking someone point blank if they have any debt and how they invest is a total nightmare conversation. But you know what’s a bigger nightmare? Having to call your boyfriend’s mom because he owes you $2,500 for covering his rent and utilities because he’s “in between jobs.” That happened to a friend of mine. It turns out that when she met him and he had a job, he was actually “in between unemployment stints.” He could never keep a job and was chronically in debt. She had no idea because for the six months they dated, he was employed and seemed to be doing fine. There was no way for her to know unless she asked, and she didn’t. So take a lesson from my poor friend (who never got the money back, not even from his mother) and have the yucky conversation to avoid a yuckier situation.

His cleaning habits

Picking up your dude’s dirty underwear gets very old very quickly. If you’re a neat freak and he’s Oscar the Grouch personified, your living situation is going to be full of resentment and fights. And that also goes for if you’re a messy person and he’s Mr. Clean. Does it mean that it can’t work between a hot mess and a neat freak? No. But it’s only going to work if you talk about it and set some serious boundaries and rules that you both agree to.

Your relationship

He asked you to move in with him! He thinks you’re the one! Start subscribing to those bridal magazines! Not so fast, sister. Has he actually said that to you? Don’t assume anything. In a perfect world, yeah, he wants to move in with you because he sees it as a step forward in your relationship. But people aren’t always perfect. Or really ever perfect. He could be doing it for financial reasons, for convenience, because he’s lonely. Talk about where he sees your relationship going first and make sure you two are on the same page as far as what moving in together actually means.

His future

Here’s another crap-tastic question I’m telling you to ask your man: What’s his five-year plan? I know what you’re thinking, “This is a relationship, not an interview, Patti!” But you need to know where he’s planning on going before you hitch your wagon to his ride. Just be sure that you both see the same future or at least the same gist of a future. You don’t need to know all the details, but you do need to feel like you can be happy and satisfied in his gist of a future and that it hazily looks like your gist of a future.

His ideal weekend

Going from dating to living together is a big jump. As is going from “practically” living together to actually living together. Find out what he enjoys doing when you’re not around. Another tale from the friend crypt: One of my girlfriends knew that her man was into video games, but until she moved in, she didn’t know that he spent every waking minute he wasn’t on dates with her playing them. It led to some ugly fights, and let me tell you that in the battle of woman vs. video game, woman rarely wins.

Who here has moved in with someone recently? What’s the biggest lesson you learned?

http://www.pattistanger.com/things-you-should-know-about-him-before-you-move-in-together/

A Shy Girl's Guide to Sex

It's not that she doesn't like sex; it's just that she prefers subtlety, indirection, holding off. A shy girl gets hot and heavy about her sex life.

I am not a prude. I like sex. But I would never say that to your face, and I'm actually cringing here at my computer at the thought that somebody could walk in... Well, you see where I'm heading. My own sexuality embarrasses me. When I was a young teenager, my mother used to tell me that the world was divided into breast men and leg men, and that I would attract the leg men. I don't remember being upset. Or pleased. I remember thinking, Well, that's it for shorts. In college I wore flowing, ankle-length skirts and beginning in my 30s, long pants. I'm the only person I know who can imagine adding a burqa to my wardrobe. I never want to be obvious, so when I'm feeling sexy I try to hide it—to the point where my husband can't always tell that I'm turned on; he once asked if I'd consider holding up a sign.

Okay, so I'm a little shy. That wouldn't have seemed so strange 50 years ago, when Victoria still had secrets, a kiss was still a kiss rather than an IOU, and holding back was still a viable sexual strategy. Today you're supposed to tell your partner exactly what will satisfy you. ("Excuse me, could you pass the multiple orgasms?") The very thought of it makes me blush.

Please don't get me wrong: I admire a woman who is sexually confident. I love it when movie stars strut and preen—not Gwyneth Paltrow bending like a willow, but Catherine Zeta-Jones leading with her chest. If you show up in four-inch heels and a see-through dress, I'll think you're hot. But I'll be more intrigued by the woman next to you who smolders quietly. In grad school my Victorian literature professor read us a scene in which a woman rolled up her sleeve, revealing to her suitor a seductive white arm. I thought the professor would faint, and who could blame him? When the boy I was dating brought over his favorite hard-core porno books for me to learn from, I put them aside in favor of A Man with a Maid, in which the innocent virgin is outraged by her captor's lewd behavior. Of course I got bored as soon as the lady became a libertine. I liked the Kama Sutra because it made sex seem ornate, exotic; words like penis and vagina were clinical, but lingam and yoni came (so to speak) with a little mystery. Sex toys—always gifts from men who wanted to make me less inhibited—went to a top shelf and stayed there. Only last week my husband reached for something on the top of a wardrobe and came back with an ancient vibrator. Did I want to dust it off and try it? What do you think?

Sometimes I break through my shyness. Sometimes the sun shines in Seattle. More often, though, I accept the way I am and work around it because, to tell you the truth, I really don't want to change. I don't want to be more aggressive. I don't want to turn myself on. Pick up any sex manual (something I'd never do in public—what would the bookstore clerk think?) and you'll find instructions on learning to love your own body. Asks one guide, "When was the last time you took a good look at your vulva?" Um, never? The idea of lying on my back, spreading my legs like a frog, and inspecting myself through a hand mirror has always seemed ludicrous to me. I don't have to look to know what's there, and if you tell me it's as lovely as a lotus flower, I won't believe you. (I wouldn't enter the penis in a beauty contest, either.) To quote the old Volkswagen ads, "It's ugly, but it works."

I guess getting naked can be fun, but I'd rather keep my body under wraps. I don't mind being secretly sensuous, the woman who lets down her hair when she wants to and afterward pins it right back up again. And if I'm buttoned up in bed, that's not indifference: That's being so turned on that I don't know what to do—yet. But I'm in no hurry. If I did hold up a sign (well, dear, you asked), it would say: GIVE ME TIME, AND SPACE. HOLD BACK A LITTLE, MAKE ME GO AFTER YOU. When a shy girl and a shy guy get together, anything can happen.

http://www.oprah.com/relationships/A-Shy-Girls-Guide-to-Sex

9 Reasons He's Leading You On

Most humans aren't mean-spirited by nature, but they do so many awful things in dating such as stringing along or leading on.

It's truly an art to lead someone on. You have to defy physics - keeping someone suspended in space for extended periods of time.

Your behavior and statements don't allow for an understanding of what's going on between the two of you. You don't let them go to move on with their life, but you also don't let them close enough to you to feel like you're officially together. You appear interested in someone, but you don't move it along and you keep it vague.

You can accomplish this by doing something as simple as constantly answering someone's excessive texts even though you have no intention of getting together with them, 

Because it's so difficult to lead someone on purposefully, I believe most lead-ons are unintentional.

Picture a person's mind like surf. If you're in rough surf, you'll be tossed around. If that surf is smooth and calm, it will be a nice relaxing ride. Swim in a rough surf at your own risk. In other words, this unintentional leading on might occur because you're involved with someone who is not in a state of mind for a healthy relationship.

Here are some reasons a person might lead you on:

They Are Too Nice

Thankfully, it is natural for people to be nice. My friend I wrote about last week is nice - maybe too nice. So the guy who kept texting her must have been getting hope when she wrote back. Remember my observation about Southern girls? They were all so nice, it seemed like I had a chance - they talked to anyone. Lucky for me, I never assume I have a chance.

They Like the Attention

Hey, what's not to like about someone constantly stroking your ego - even if you're not that into them? It's nice to have someone around to make you feel desirable when dating life is slow.

They Are Confused

They could be confused about anything: "I want a boyfriend, no I don't," "I can't get over my ex," "I don't want to wreck the friendship," etc. They aren't on solid ground so they keep you close, but not too close.

They Are Playing the Field

...and probably leading many people on at the same time.

They're Taken

People flirt while they are in relationships because it means nothing. But to the single person pursuing them it has much more meaning. And if the person is taken but not particularly happy they will go through the motions even more with the pursuant, with no intention of breaking up with their present significant other.

Because They Can Do It

They probably won't stop until they are called out on it.

They Are Mental

This is one of the few times someone might lead you on purposefully. Don't worry though - if you're mixed up with a crazy, getting led on might be the best thing that could happen all things considered.

They Don't Think They Are Leading You On

Sometimes people are disconnected when it comes to the perception of a relationship. Usually, it ends when one person expresses feelings and the other person says: "I thought we were just friends." If someone thinks you're on platonic level, they won't think their actions are giving you any hope, whether it's getting together to hang out every weekend or even if you jump in the same bed to sleep.

They Want Sex (Guys Are Most Guilty of This)

Some guys will do anything for sex: acting like he's more serious than he is, saying he has deep feelings for you, you're the only one, etc.

Take decisive action to avoid getting led on:

1. Call them on it: If you're confused, feeling suspended in space, then ask them what's up. It will force them to at least explain things and maybe you'll get a decisive answer.

2. Get out of there: They'll keep doing it if you don't take action. If you're not happy with the way a relationship is going, leave. It will force them to play their hand. If they don't take you back then you know it wasn't worth it. If they come calling, you can give it another shot and maybe they'll even change their ways.

Do you agree with my reasons for leading on? Are you ever aware that you're leading someone on? How have you dealt with being led on - do you agree with my solutions? Why do you think people lead other people on?

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/men/leading-you-on

How to Tell If You're Dating Prince Charming or Prince Harming

According to ancient philosopher Aristotle, there are three kinds of relationships, only one of which will bring you true happiness. Find out how your relationship measures up!

1. Relationships of Pleasure
Partners who are about sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll. You share soulless, passionate sex and playful banter—but they're about the body or ego. They never soul-nurture you with insight and growth, so they never bring real-deal happiness.

2. Relationships of Utility
Partners you spend time with in hopes of garnering status, power, money and beauty like the rich guy with a trophy girl. Again, this is about body or ego and doesn't bring true joy.

3. Relationships of Shared Virtue
Partners who challenge and inspire you to grow into your highest potential and nurture your soul. A good example is when Jack Nicholson's character in As Good As It Gets says, "You make me want to be a better man." When you prioritize seeking a partner who supports you becoming your best self—instead of crushing on "superficial lures"(hotness, funniness, smartness, success, etc.)—you wind up with a soul mate/a Prince Charming/a definite keeper!

With this in mind, if you want to be happy in love, you must take time to see past a guy's "superficial lures" and look inside his "superinsidehimself." Unfortunately, those fumes of chemistry can often dizzy a gal into making stupid love choices. That's why it's important to remember: Hot, steamy chemistry eventually fades—and what's always left beneath is a person's true soul.

Yes, if you want to be happy, you must seek a good-hearted, ethical soul who brings you great growth—not simply a hottie who brings great grope!

Confession time: Another superficially alluring quality I've been suckered in by is humor. I am Silly Putty in a friggin' funny man's hands. I once had a boyfriend who teased me that the secret to getting me into bed was to crack five good jokes in a night. He'd count down his jokes as the night progressed. Unfortunately, funniness is a mere decorative quality —sometimes developed to avoid talking about real-life issues. Which is why in the past, after a few months of dating a friggin' funny guy, I've witnessed all that fabulous ha-ha-ha laughter often gives way to tears when the guy's true character—true soul—shows up as one that avoids honest communication, warm empathy and the desire for growth. Then, when I try to connect soul to soul—heart to heart—I am greeted by a gigantic, unmovable whoopee cushion wall.

Basically, friggin' funny is only the tiniest tip of a person. Meanwhile, a person's soul is a person's foundation!

For the record: Aristotle wasn't against finding someone friggin' funny or friggin' sexy or friggin' rich. He believed these pleasure-bringing qualities were good for stirring up passion, which humans need to be our fullest selves! But Aristotle recognized "superficial lures" and material goods were simply what he called "means to the ends" of happiness, not "the final ends," which is always to grow into your most esteemed self.

As Aristotle said: "Men imagine the causes of happiness lie in external goods. That is as if they were to ascribe fine and beautiful lyre playing to the quality of the instrument rather than the skill of the player."

Or as I like to say, "It's just as easy to complain about a rich man as it is to complain about a poor man."

Basically, it doesn't matter how rich a guy is if his behavior makes you twitchy and miserable.

While on the subject of money, Aristotle was no fan of slackers either. He recognized that being or dating poor brought its share of problems. He even admitted the lack of a certain amount of wealth was as much an obstacle to happiness as deprivation of freedom. He gladly accepted that some wealth was needed to be happy—just as exciting bodily pleasures were needed. But again, wealth and bodily pleasures were mere means to the ends of happiness—these ultimate ends being to nourish your soul, so you can reach your most esteemed level of self.

A big secret to happiness? Stop focusing on finding a Mr. Right! Start focusing on finding Life Plan Right. When a Mr. Potential Right comes along, you must ask yourself if this guy will lead you to Life Plan Right or Life Plan Wrong.

As you get to know the guy, look to see if he:
1. Offers you exciting growth as well as exciting grope
2. Has developed good character—so he'll be a positive influence on your character development.

If the guy scores two for two, you're likely in Prince Charming territory.




http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Are-You-Dating-Prince-Charming-or-Prince-Harming/4