8 Ways To Boost Your Dating Confidence

Diarising date nights in long-term a relationship is as recommended as booking in a monthly GNO – once you’re settled into the groove of a relationship making time to do something special can become more infrequent, yet it’s more important. My friend even block books a date week every season to shake up the sofa-snuggles-in-front-of-The-X-Factor routine. But while most of us in the coupled-up camp are aware of this, we don’t necessarily think we need to work on our confidence when going on a ‘date’ with our guys we’re totally comfortable with.
I didn’t. Not until I had a coaching session with dating guru (and head & shoulders Date Night Confidence Coach) Matthew Hussey who advised me that by putting 10% more planning into a special night with my fella (or fiancé as I should call him if that didn’t feel so cringey), I – we – could experience each other in a new way that was special, memorable, and sexy. Date booked.
He gave me these eight tips that act like triggers to boost my dating confidence:
Take care of you first, feelings follow actions. “Properly prepare before to get into a good state for the date. If he complains you’re taking too long to get ready, communicate to your partner how excited you are to get ready for the date!” I love this last tip but I’m ‘preparing’ at work. As someone who shuts down the computer at the very last second, still with a growing to-do list I’m usually late and arrive in a rush with slap-dash lippy and windswept hair. Instead I made the date half an hour later and used this time not to work late but to re-do my hair and touch-up my makeup properly, print out Matthew’s tips and arrive unrushed and unflushed.
Smell your best. “Smell creates anchors which are a gateway to emotions. Connect a special smell with you.” I didn’t have an old fragrance that would bring back a “when we met” nostalgia but I wore a different one to usual. The oil parfum version of Narciso Rodriguez For Her has a sensual intensity which didn’t go unnoticed. My boyfriend complemented me on it more than once. Matthew also said that hair can be a good flirting tool so I tried the new head & shoulders Apple Fresh (it has Scent Burst Technology – clever stuff!) which certainly upped my swish-factor.
Wear something special. “It could be something he gave you that you haven’t worn in a long time. Something that has an air of sexiness that gets him to look at you in a new way.” I wore my new go-to outfit this season that’s glam but comfortable. A few friends and colleagues had admired it but my boyfriend hadn’t seen it pre-date so it was new to him and I felt great in it, an emotion emphasised with flattery from him.
Complement your partner. “Long term partners don’t do this because they assume you know it but it doesn’t resonate as much as hearing it! Try saying something new. Never stop trying to impress your partner.” This rings true for me; we’re now at a stage of being able to finish each other’s sentences, so I’m guilty of assuming he knows what I’m thinking! I made a conscious effort to voice my appreciations and not just on his well-considered dress sense but his people skills, his laugh – things we take for granted. He was beaming.
Use affectionate gestures and be tactile. “A hand on the leg, touching the shoulder, leaning in close… these increases sensuality and sexual tension.” I thought I do this without realising but by becoming conscious of it, I instantly felt sassy, flirty and fun. Plus the more I gave, the more I received!
Live in the present but dream of the future. “Most long-term couples live in a nostalgic mood, but the right now makes you learn new things. Share your new knowledge like fun facts, life lessons. The future can be more exciting than the past”. This chimed with me, having recently returned from a round-the-world trip together we’re constantly referring to “this time last year”, reminiscing on then which makes it hard to enjoy the moment. I steered conversation to the vision we’re both excited about – our upcoming nuptials – and our goals, such as house buying. This instilled infectious positivity and excitement.
Take control and surprise your date. “Do something slightly unexpected. Go somewhere new so it doesn’t feel predictable. Write a love letter or get him his favourite chocolate bar.” I’m quite good at doing the latter, often bringing him small treats so I focused on the former and booked what will be the venue of our wedding party for our dinner date. Having never dined there before it felt super special and instantly had romantic connotations.
Initiate affection. “Sneak in a kiss, break your normal pattern with a passionate kiss that makes him remember that first one.” This totally worked, making things charged and alive. We probably weren’t tipsy enough for it to remind him of our first kiss (we were on a waltzer at Lovebox festival!), but the unpredictability felt like those early days which resulted in a new, giddy freshness.
My confidence, and his confidence, was boosted and the results were special. The date was perfect, as was the weekend that followed. These little triggers, that I will keep top of mind, were more effective than a quick confidence boost like having my hair done before the date. Although I’m a big believer that it’s hard to be loved if you don’t love yourself (and a good blow-dry can help that!), these other actions worked harder, giving a deeper confidence and a lasting positivity. Try them!

http://www.cosmopolitan.co.uk/love-sex/relationships/how-to-boost-your-dating-confidence

8 Non Verbal Signs He Is Into You

8 NON VERBAL SIGNS THAT HE IS INTO YOU ...

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Wondering if He Is Into You? Well wonder no more because there are more than a few good ways to know for sure! His body language, for example, can speak more than words and learning how to interpret it could save you a lot of troubles, a lot of sleepless nights and, of course, a lot of nerves. Yes, there are plenty of small clues you’ll need to keep an eye on in order to determine if he is into you but, once you know exactly what to look for you’ll actually find it very easy! So, are you ready to stop guessing? Well, do keep reading, dear, as I’m about to list 8 moves your man is bound to make if he is into you!

1. RAISED EYEBROW(S)

People who make their living studying human behavior have noticed something rather interesting – men tend to raise their eyebrows whenever they see something (or, in this case, somebody) they like. Raised eyebrows make his eyes appear bigger and the light reflecting in them makes them appear brighter, shinier and more attractive. This is one of those smart tricks Mother Nature uses to make sure the person one admires sees all his best features and, although this movement might not last more than a few seconds, that’s still plenty of time for you to take notice.

2. LEANING FORWARD

Oh, this tip is definitely going to help you determine whether he is into you and I strongly advise you to remember it! Observe the way he acts when he’s around you because his body might say much more than his lips are prepared to! Whether you’re sitting across from each other or standing really close, he is supposed to be turned towards you, his torso leaning forward. This shows that he wants to be close to you. If he’s looking around, wiggling in his chair too much, if he turns sideways or turns his back on you, you can rest assured he’s a lost case, sister, which pretty much means that you should stop wasting your time.

3. “OPEN” BODY

When a woman crosses her legs it doesn’t mean much but when a man does such thing he is actually telling you that he isn’t willing to open up or let you get close to him. Crossed arms are also not a good sign either as that shows he’s trying to put up a wall and make himself unavailable to you. Pay attention to how relaxed he is when being around you because, although he might feel and act a bit strange at first, his body is supposed to relax, turn towards you and kind of “open up” as you get to know each other better.

4. TRYING TO LOOK GOOD FOR YOU

If he is into you, he will definitely want to look good for YOU and you’ll notice that by paying attention to how often he fixes his hair/collar/tie when you’re around. I’m not talking about narcissistic egomaniacs whose sole purpose in life is to look good, oh no, no, no – I’m talking about real men here! You see, even an average Joe who, in any other occasion, couldn’t care less about his looks will feel the need to “fix” something when trying to leave a good impression on a woman he likes and, although he might do that secretly (when the object of his admiration is in the ladies room), the chances of her noticing it on her way back are more than good.

5. LETTING YOU NOTICE THAT HE’S CHECKING YOU OUT

He will check you out top to bottom, allowing himself the liberty of letting you SEE that! You shouldn’t feel like Columbus, though, because your discovery isn’t that grand! The truth is that he has checked you out many times before and the only reason for which he’s doing it now is to let you know that he’s not only looking but enjoying the view as well!

6. TOUCHING HIS FACE

If your date is touching his face, ears or rubbing his chin you have a good reason to believe he is into you! This is how men react in moments when they are nervous and excited and, according to experts, it has something to do with their skin being more sensitive to touch at those times.

7. TRYING TO TOUCH YOU

He’ll touch your hand while trying to explain something, lean forward to tuck in a lock that has gone wild, admire you bracelet or even your nail art just so he would have a reason to touch you again without appearing too forward. Now, don’t pretend like you haven’t noticed (or even done) this before! LOL!

8. OFFER TO LEND YOU SOMETHING

A true gentleman will offer his coat/jacket/blazer if you’re cold but, should he insist on you keeping it, you should know he is into you. This heroic move won’t only put him in your good graces but guarantee he’ll get the chance to see you again too because…well… he’ll need his jacket back eventually.

No room for doubt now because the case is pretty clear – if your date starts demonstrating any or all of these “moves”, you will be able to read them like a pro and know that he is into you long before he actually decides to put it in words! Pretty neat, isn’t it? Go ahead, give it a shot and let me know which one of these clues gave him away and made you absolutely and positively sure that he is into you?

http://love.allwomenstalk.com/non-verbal-signs-that-he-is-into-you/8/

7 TACTICS FOR DEALING WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND'S ANNOYING EX ...

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Dealing with your boyfriend's ex can be extremely annoying. Since most of us have a past, it's necessary to face the fact that exes do exist. However, some of them do seem to be only too keen to remind you of the fact that they exist; perhaps she calls him a lot, or they're friends on Facebook. Whenever problems arise, try these tips on dealing with your boyfriend's ex …

1. IGNORE HER

One of the best tactics for dealing with your boyfriend's ex can be to simply ignore her behavior. She may be jealous that he's now with you and has moved on, especially if she hasn’t found a new partner. If you respond, she knows that she's getting to you and will carry on. On the other hand, if you take no notice she may stop.

2. RESPECT FOR YOU

You have every right to expect that your boyfriend shows respect for you, and that includes not allowing his ex to cause problems. He should make it clear that he won't tolerate any disrespect towards you. If he allows her to get away with causing difficulties between you, you should question whether he is committed to a relationship with you.

3. NEGOTIATE LIMITS

Exes aren't always malicious, and if they have friends in common, it's often unavoidable that they will bump into each other. So negotiate with your boyfriend and find the amount of contact that you're happy for him to have with his ex. For example, it's ok for him to see her in a crowd, but not to have cosy lunch-dates alone. And private texts or chats may well be unacceptable.

4. NOT HER SAVIOR

One type of annoying ex is the woman who still turns to her ex whenever she has a problem, be it practical or emotional. She'll call in the middle of the night because her plumbing's burst or she's locked herself out of the house, and her dramas are often invented as a way of getting his attention. Point out to your boyfriend that he's not her savior and doesn't need to ride to her rescue. She can call a plumber or locksmith.

5. BE FRIENDLY

Some exes are best handled by treating them in a friendly manner. You may not actually want to be friends with her, but civility doesn't hurt. This may also disarm any exes who set out to be hostile. So be polite to her if you meet. She may soon find someone new and stop bothering you.

6. DON'T LET HER RILE YOU

Your boyfriend's ex may be a thorn in your side, but try not to let her behavior or comments bother you. You may find that you're less bothered by her if you see her as someone to feel sorry for. After all, you're the one who's in a happy relationship! Definitely don't let her see that she's getting to you, or she'll probably continue.

7. TRUST & CONFIDENCE

Finally, unless your boyfriend gives you reason not to feel confident then you should trust him. He's with you, not her, and if your relationship is secure then she can't come between you. If you can't trust him then you probably shouldn't be in a relationship with him.

Exes can be annoying, but it's relatively rare for them to set out to ruin your relationship. Most recognise that they split up for a reason. If you find that your boyfriend's ex makes you feel annoyed, ask yourself if she really is causing a problem. Perhaps you just need to relax and trust him. Have you ever had to deal with a "bunny boiler" ex of your boyfriend's?


http://love.allwomenstalk.com/tactics-for-dealing-with-your-boyfriends-annoying-ex/7/

10 Reasons Why He's Just Not That Into You

TIME TO
MOVE ON?

The powerful maxim, 'He's just not that into you,' has exploded over the past 10 years from a cute line on Sex and the City to a book... to a movie. Why is there so much hype around this simple, seemingly obvious statement? Because so many women still don't get it!

Ladies, before you start pining over phantom phone calls and missed dates, consider these hilarious tips from author Phil Torcivia. The divorced bachelor, who penned the wildly funny Such a Nice Guy, has a thing or two to say about why he might not be returning your affections.

Don't be sad. It's his problem, not yours. I'm sure there are numerous men out there who are attracted to you and don't mind at all that you hog the remote, get text messages at 2 a.m. and pass gas in your sleep. We all have our little quirks. The key is avoiding the little jerks and finding someone who loves your idiosyncrasies. If that has become too difficult, find a good therapist, mix yourself a strong martini or see if one of the 10 reasons below applies.

HE NEVER REALLY WAS INTO YOU

He just wanted to hook up. (Oh, stop sobbing. You've done it, too.)

HE FOUND SOMEONE HE'S MORE INTO

It happens. Perhaps that lovely coworker he has been pining for suddenly left her boyfriend, whom she was just not that into.

HE IS TIRED OF BEING DRAGGED TO CHURCH...

...and malls and family reunions and baby showers.

YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY MEMBERS FRIGHTENED HIM

Maybe he sees too much of your mother in you already.

HIS FRIENDS FINALLY TALKED HIM INTO LEAVING YOU

They whined, complained, and poked fun at him because, since you came around, he can't come out and play after dinner as often.

YOU NAG... A LOT

Anytime you ask him to do something more than twice, it's no longer a reminder, it's nagging. Nothing makes a man want to run out of the home screaming more than nagging (excluding the obvious: A bad call during a playoff game or accidentally catching his Willy in his zipper).

HE'S A SLOB AND YOU'RE NEAT, OR VICE-VERSA

You don't realize this until you share a hotel room for a week. Then, the unmade bed, clothing pile and missing toothpaste cap are sufficient reasons to check out of both the hotel and the relationship.

YOU COST TOO MUCH

Hey, times are tough. He has to cut corners. His hand does not require expensive foreplay such as roses, sushi and La Crema chardonnay. His accountant advised him to rebuild his credit by sticking to solo nights in a dive bar with his nutritious dinner of happy hour draft beer and popcorn.

YOU ARE NOT THE SAME WOMAN YOU WERE WHEN HE MET YOU

Remember that sexy number you were wearing? Those high boots with your designer jeans tucked inside them. That pink lace thong. The plunging neckline. Where did they go? Yes, you look cute in sweatpants, flip-flops and a trucker cap, but then again so does his uncle.

YOU STARTED RATIONING THE COOKIE

You used to get busy all the time:In the car, on the kitchen counter and in the hotel Jacuzzi. You used to initiate. In fact, according to the police log, you had orgasms loud enough to register on the Richter scale. Now, instead of changing positions, you change the channels. He misses those days when you used to fetch the sex towel.

It's not so bad. Don't be embarrassed. You, too, can learn from this or at least become more skilled at faking it. But just accept it -- he's just not that into you.

http://www.sheknows.com/love-and-sex/articles/813319/10-reasons-why-he-s-just-not-that-into-you/page:2

9 Signs You’ve Met The One

Can you ever really know whether you’ve met “the one”? Unfortunately, there isn’t a foolproof litmus test, but you can be fairly confident in your relationship if you notice these nine signs that are characteristic of a really special connection between two people.

1) You’re Not Chasing the Relationship’s Potential

Many people have romantic relationships fraught with obstacles. On a basic level, the relationship is satisfactory, but there always seems to be something standing in the way of true happiness: a stressful job, an annoying ex, a distasteful habit. Both people feel that once the obstacle is removed, they’ll be truly content together.

Unfortunately, relationships don’t work that way. Once the problem is resolved, another one pops up. And—surprise!—the couple is still unhappy.

What people may not realize is that if they are waiting for true happiness in their relationship, then they are in the wrong relationship. Landing a better job may make life easier financially, but no amount of money will help two people who just aren’t a good fit for each other.

The truth is, a happy, well-adjusted couple doesn’t have to chase what could be or should be. A good relationship just is.

2) Who You Are Is Good Enough

You know you’ve met the one when your partner loves you for who you are. We know it sounds pretty cliché, but like all clichés, it’s true. “The One’s” admiration of you is so powerful that it’s almost as if he or she is awestruck by your very presence. He takes great pride in the choices you’ve made. She finds you smart, sexy, fun to be with, and so on. You never have to try to impress “The One” because you’ve already done that by just being you.

3) You Manage Conflict Well

Let’s say we have two couples that have been together for the same amount of time. Couple A fights regularly. Couple B has never argued in the history of their relationship. Which couple do you think a relationship counselor would say is at greater risk?

That’s right: Couple B. Upon closer examination, you’ll find that someone in the relationship—perhaps both parties—isn’t being forthcoming. Someone’s needs and wants aren’t being voiced and therefore aren’t being addressed.

Couple A, on the other hand, makes it a point to bring up topics that are bothersome or dissatisfying within the relationship. This couple regularly engages in respectful, healthy conflict—without insults or throwing things—and comes out the other side a stronger couple that gains a deeper understanding of one another with each conflict they resolve together. How much a couple fights isn’t the issue, unless they don’t fight at all. It’s how a couple manages conflicts that determines how well the relationship works.

4) The Mundane Is Suddenly Interesting

If you’re spending time with someone who really is “The One,” then you probably want to pay attention to even the smallest details of his or her life. Specifics from his work interest you, stories about his childhood hold your attention, and even old photos or home movies fascinate you.

When this happens, then this person is likely much more to you than a ship passing in the night.

5) There’s Minimal Drama—or None at All

Like we said above when we talked about conflict, even the healthiest relationships deal with their share of arguments. So when we say that there’s not a lot of drama in your relationship, we don’t mean that the two of you never fight.

But when you do, you do your best to fight fair. You admit when you’re wrong, you listen to each other, you acknowledge one another’s good points, and you apologize when you cross lines. It’s not that you have to be perfect, but if this person is “The One,” then you are at least trying to make your conflict work for your relationship rather than against it.

So if you two are dealing with constant drama, where one of you is trying to create high emotions to manipulate the other or where there’s constant turbulence without some sort of resolution, then be careful about fully committing to the relationship at this point. High drama is a definite red flag when it comes to long-term relationship success.

6) Your Friends and Family See What You See

If the people who love you the most are begging you to get away from someone, then that person’s probably not the one for you. On the other hand, if the people you trust also see what you see in this person and encourage the relationship, then that’s a good sign that you two may belong together.

Of course, sometimes your friends and family may choose someone for you whom you haven’t chosen. They may push for a relationship that you have no interest in pursuing. In these cases, it’s not always wise to follow their advice.

But if you’re falling in love with someone whom the people in your life want you to be with, then there’s a good chance that this may be the real deal.

7) You Know How to Make Them Happy

When there’s a deep connection between two people, they each know what the other wants and needs. So ask yourself this question about the person in your life: Do you know what it takes to make him or her happy? Think about minor, moment-by-moment issues, like where that person likes to eat and what kind of back rub he or she enjoys.

Additionally, think about larger matters as well: Do you know how to help her relieve stress? Can you get her to talk about her dreams and visions for the future? When she’s struggling at work or with a family issue, can you help her come through the storm and find the sun again? And, just as important, does your partner know how to do this for you as well? If so, that’s another reason to believe that you’ve found “The One.”

8) You Have the Same Life Priorities

Opposites may attract, but they rarely make for a good long-term relationship. Compatibility really is key when it comes to creating a deep and lasting connection between two people.

For example, if you want to begin preparing for the future and building toward certain life and career goals, but your partner mainly wants to make enough money so that he or she can party this weekend, then you two are probably working with fairly different priorities.

And the opposite it is true, too: If your priorities match up well, then you two have a much better chance of long-term happiness and fulfillment together.

9) You Respect the Person Deeply

Mutual respect is crucial for a healthy relationship. Without that respect, there’s simply no way to create and build a secure foundation so that you can enjoy all of the benefits of a deep and strong relationship.

But when you respect your partner and he or she respects you, the relationship has a strong chance at thriving, and all the aspects of your connection blossom. The communication improves. The commitment deepens. The trust multiplies. The satisfaction level goes through the roof.

And that all begins with a mutual respect that emerges because you like each other and because you appreciate the way you live your individual lives.

So as you try to figure out whether you’ve found “The One,” take a look at this list. If you can check off each of the above items, then you owe it to yourself to allow the relationship to become all that it can possibly be.

http://www.eharmony.com/dating-advice/relationships/9-signs-youve-met-the-one/#.UksiB4Z6bnc