Whether your children have flown the coop, or they’re still in nappies, it can be a little tricky navigating the dating scene when you’ve got kids in tow. So here’s a few tips we’ve picked up from eHarmony’s single mothers to help you find the perfect man for you (and your family!).
You first
Putting yourself second and your kids first seems to be an inherent part of being a mother. Which is fine when it comes to letting them have the last slice of cake, or sitting through hours of Disney films (which, if you admit it, probably isn’t such a bad thing). But there’s no space for the children-first approach when it comes to online dating – this, at the very least, is all about you. So embrace a little me-time and enjoy talking about yourself for once – you’ve earned it!
In your own time
There’s barely enough hours in the day as it is when you have children. Let alone, time to search for, date and fall in love with the perfect partner. That’s why single mums are turning to internet dating to find someone special – it’s a little easier to fit your dating activity around nap times, school picks-up or after your kids have gone to bed when the action is happening online. And if you’re with eHarmony there’s even a handy app you can download, so you can reply to messages or check out your matches without even turning on your computer. How’s that for efficiency?
You’re in good company
Another great thing about dating online is that there are plenty of men in the same shoes as you. Divorced or separated – many of them are just as keen to take things slowly and have the same worries about introducing new people to their families as you do. Besides respecting your time-frame, there’s other advantages to dating someone who’s a parent too – for one, there’s a good chance they already like kids.
You deserve fireworks
It can be tempting to settle for something safe, when it comes to dating as a single mum. But don’t forget that you deserve something special, something fun, and something that ticks all the boxes too. In fact, you deserve fireworks. So although you may feel like you’ve got a long list of things your new partner needs to have, don’t let chemistry be the thing you compromise on!
Be prepared for questions about your ex
Anyone you date will wonder what’s happening with your ex partner or husband – it’s only natural. The best thing you can do is be prepared, and be honest. Let them know where the relationship stands, and give them the opportunity to figure out if they can fit in with your arrangement – chances are they will, but everything will be easier if you’re up-front from the get go.
Trust that it will work out
First-time dating with children can be a steep learning curve, and we can’t guarantee it’ll always be a comfy ride. But, if you’re taking positive steps toward finding new love, you’re doing all the right things.
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